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Started by YourMum on Feb 7, 2013 1:31:53 PM
Can't stop whistling during sex

I don't even know I'm doing it until She complains.The thing is I don't whistle when I'm not having sex, but once intercourse commences I'm like Roger Whittaker. She says it puts her off and it trivialises the act, but really I can't help it

I am hoping that more men do it than just me...

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oonnell - 07 Feb 2013 13:33:28 (#1 of 65)

You should play the swanee whistle instead. It'll make the homemade sex tapes even more amusing.

milhouse - 07 Feb 2013 13:35:04 (#2 of 65)

Perhaps the whistling is your partner's faulty valve.

Moschops - 07 Feb 2013 13:35:32 (#3 of 65)

Does TheSex stop while you do a 5 minute solo halfway through?

Macpaddy - 07 Feb 2013 13:36:14 (#4 of 65)

Try using a butt plug, perhaps that's the source of the whistling.

YourMum - 07 Feb 2013 13:36:39 (#5 of 65)

I tend to whistle the theme tune from The Tomorrow People. Not straightforward, but one of my favourites.

Moschops - 07 Feb 2013 13:39:11 (#6 of 65)

Next time enter the room naked except for an accordion, if She complains say "It's this or the whistling"

Post deleted by user
oonnell - 07 Feb 2013 13:40:35 (#8 of 65)

Lapsed sock?

Keep your filthy perversions to yourself. This is a family thread.

YourMum - 07 Feb 2013 14:31:27 (#9 of 65)

I'm only a consonant away from whittling during sex, I guess. That would have far greater impact on her equanamity.

oonnell - 07 Feb 2013 14:33:43 (#10 of 65)

Bringing a knife to a battle of the sexes is probably taking it too far all the same.

HelloandGoodbye - 07 Feb 2013 14:35:00 (#11 of 65)

Try whistling while on the giving end of oral sex and see how far you get.

WilyCoyote - 07 Feb 2013 14:35:30 (#12 of 65)

If you are having this problem then the best way to solve it is to give your mouth something else to do during sex.

Have you considered a kazoo?

FleurDuMal - 07 Feb 2013 14:35:32 (#13 of 65)

Blowing the pink oboe?

oonnell - 07 Feb 2013 14:37:54 (#14 of 65)

Have you considered a kazoo?

Yes, play her some Yazoo on your kazoo. Then take her on a romantic trip to Kalamazoo.

She'll soon forget all about your whistling then.

WilyCoyote - 07 Feb 2013 14:38:49 (#15 of 65)

The tone and vigour of your kazoo playing could rise and fall at key moments.

oonnell - 07 Feb 2013 14:39:40 (#16 of 65)

YourMum could even issue instructions via the kazoo to hilarious effect.

WilyCoyote - 07 Feb 2013 14:40:18 (#17 of 65)

Like charming a snake. But with a kazoo.

YourMum - 07 Feb 2013 14:42:04 (#18 of 65)

A kazoo would cheapen the act worse than whistling does. Have you people not thought this through?

I'm considering the efficacy of gagging.

oonnell - 07 Feb 2013 14:43:30 (#19 of 65)

Don't get a ball gag though as they have air holes in them which may lead to involuntary whistling.

I only know this I hasten to add because a friend told me. While we were having rough, masochistic sex.

YourMum - 07 Feb 2013 14:45:31 (#20 of 65)

If only I had more pendulous moobs I could lean lower over her and they could act as impromptu earmuffs.

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