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Started by HenryM on Mar 12, 2018 11:39:22 PM
My brother has gone to the dark side

Brexit, homophobia, transgender stuff is getting pushed down our throats, what's so bad about Trump, I'd vote Tory if there was an election tomorrow.

It's very surprising as he lived on a traveller site for years. He did a stretch in prison a while ago and that seems to have... modified his views.

What do you do when a family member has developed views you think are very very wrong, and wants to talk to you about them?

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Hilary - 12 Mar 2018 23:40:24 (#1 of 101)

Talk to him. He might know something you don't.

HenryM - 12 Mar 2018 23:50:53 (#2 of 101)

I have been. Trying to get to the root of it.

HenryM - 12 Mar 2018 23:51:23 (#3 of 101)

He knows a lot I don't. All kinds of things.

Flicker - 12 Mar 2018 23:55:57 (#4 of 101)

Are his views really so wrong? I’m struggling to see how he’s ‘gone to the dark side’, from what you say.

Flicker - 12 Mar 2018 23:56:43 (#5 of 101)

Unless he’s actually homophobic, which is obviously very wrong.

Ebadlun - 13 Mar 2018 00:00:08 (#6 of 101)

Not understanding what's so bad about Trump is suggestive of a... different outlook.

Flicker - 13 Mar 2018 00:02:28 (#7 of 101)

Different, I agree, but could be ignorance? Although my ex’s sister is a Trump fan and she just isn’t very nice.

YorenInTheNorth - 13 Mar 2018 00:05:32 (#8 of 101)

You can either challenge the bigotry head on, and suffer consequences, or just disengage when the more ripe views are displayed.

I don't know if it helps but I tend to take the view that while I'll tolerate some shit in a one on one (he's never going to convince me so let him rant etc) I won't tolerate it in a group setting. That's spreading hatred far and wide and must be challenged. Plus you might get some back up.

emorobot - 13 Mar 2018 00:07:31 (#9 of 101)

Apparently radicalisation is pretty common in prison. I've read that the far Right are mimicking the Islamic fundamentalists in various ways, wouldn't be surprised if that was one of them.

solomongursky - 13 Mar 2018 00:23:37 (#10 of 101)

My brother voted for Brexit then paid a geneologist to find out our grandad wasn't born in Ireland so we can't even get Irish passports, the stupid fucking penis.

Tenesmus - 13 Mar 2018 00:59:00 (#11 of 101)

Yes you can. Naturalisation.

http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/moving_countr
y/irish_citizenship/becoming_an_irish_citizen_throu
gh_naturalisation.html

machiavelli - 13 Mar 2018 05:32:53 (#12 of 101)

My brother is a conspiracy nut. He's not racist or homophobic but he seems to admire Trump.

He used to give long monologues on his theories to all and sundry and shout at us that we were stupid for not reading the same stuff as him.

He's still as nutty but keeps it mostly under wraps now. My sister won't speak to him anymore and perhaps he sensed that I was getting to that point. I'd stopped calling him for months on end.

Or maybe his mates told him to shut up, or he got fed up of trying to make people see "the truth".

I don't want to " learn" anything from him - it's nuts.

thisonehasalittlehat - 13 Mar 2018 06:28:25 (#13 of 101)

Is best not to see siblings really.

ValdPuton - 13 Mar 2018 06:46:51 (#14 of 101)

Well that's just awful Henry, but this sort of thing does happen sometimes and it can be difficult to know how to deal with it. The phenomenon is sometimes called "somebody having a different opinion to you".

Delighted_User - 13 Mar 2018 06:51:46 (#15 of 101)

Is anyone else hearing the thread title to the tune of "My Bonny Lies Over the Ocean"?

Tenesmus - 13 Mar 2018 06:52:54 (#16 of 101)

Thanks.

SheikYerbouti - 13 Mar 2018 06:59:26 (#17 of 101)

Sounds like the thread starter hasn't met many travellers.

SheikYerbouti - 13 Mar 2018 07:02:10 (#18 of 101)

As for the question, I suspect more of us than not have elderly relatives with unreconstructed views that we have to negotiate. Just disagree politely but firmly.

TommyDGNR8 - 13 Mar 2018 07:05:07 (#19 of 101)

Your birth family is just that - there's no need to even fucking acknowledge the ones you don't actually like once you've made your own path.

browserbutton - 13 Mar 2018 07:06:15 (#20 of 101)

Even now, the brother in question might be posting a thread of his own on some right-wing talkboard: "My brother has turned into a raving Marxist and is lost to me."

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