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Started by 1Nridi on Jan 7, 2019 6:36:53 AM
Unusual, Creative Responses to train My Dog

My dog already impresses people & is very easily trained. I'm asking YOUR ADVICE on UNIQUE responses I might teach (such as put his paws over his eyes whenever he hears someone say "OMG" or "Fuck!" Also enlisting SUPER COOL responses to teach when someone asks to pet him (such as bow low, but THAT'S not cool enough). MY ideas aren't creative tonight Are YOURS?

BasilSeal - 07 Jan 2019 07:43:04 (#1 of 44)

A dog is a sentient creature that relies solely on you for it's welfare and well being. It's not a toy designed to amuse you and others.

machiavelli - 07 Jan 2019 07:44:16 (#2 of 44)

Make the fucker earn his keep by doing something useful, like fetching the paper.

HorstVogel - 07 Jan 2019 08:00:16 (#3 of 44)

agree Basil, as a kid I'd tell my mates makikng their dogs beg for food was demeaning.

I was unable to change habits, needless to say I suppose.

GyratingTrampoline - 07 Jan 2019 08:11:00 (#4 of 44)

Can you train it to distinguish between junk mail and actual letters from real people, and shred the former whilst sparing the latter?

GyratingTrampoline - 07 Jan 2019 08:11:30 (#5 of 44)

And find drugs

HorstVogel - 07 Jan 2019 08:13:30 (#6 of 44)

that'll be handy for taking a walk over the fields after Glastonbury. The litter pickers object of course.

AlanII - 07 Jan 2019 08:20:39 (#7 of 44)

Going full on Keith Moon in hotel rooms is a good party trick to teach a dog.

BasilSeal - 07 Jan 2019 09:26:47 (#8 of 44)

There are loads of videos on social media of dogs behaving in ways that the owners think are funny but in fact is behaviour that indicates that the dog is distressed.

The vast majority of animal cruelty in this country comes not from deliberate neglect or mistreatment but from the ignorance of pet owners who don't understand the level of responsibility involved in owning a complex and demanding animal like a dog.

I support a local re homing charity and have given homes to rescue dogs, it can take hundreds of hours of careful training to undo the behavioural problems instilled in dogs by previous owners' ignorance. As for the cunts who are indiscriminately breeding these dogs for profit in the first place....

I realise that this thread is probably just a wind up, and i sincerely hope it is because someone who thinks training their dog to do something that will almost certainly be a physical impossibility for it would be a great laugh really shouldn't be a dog owner.

HorstVogel - 07 Jan 2019 12:41:29 (#9 of 44)

here here

Peacock - 07 Jan 2019 12:49:59 (#10 of 44)

You could suck the dog’s cock and train him to make amusing facial gestures which will delight your friends at dinner parties.

HorstVogel - 07 Jan 2019 13:02:44 (#11 of 44)

come in, this isn't a Brighton thread

BenSawbridg - 07 Jan 2019 13:05:39 (#12 of 44)

That's not bad, for you, benners!

browserbutton - 07 Jan 2019 13:42:09 (#13 of 44)

If you can train your dog to produce a sustained growl, you can then manipulate its lips in such a way that it appears to say "SAUSAGES!"

mancurse - 07 Jan 2019 13:46:12 (#14 of 44)

A trick that will stimulate his intelligence is teaching him words and phrases, such as different names/words for toys and asking him to fetch you "Caterpillar" or "Ted" or "Squeaker".

We have always taught our dogs our names, and often say "Take it to macman" or "Go and see mancurse". This works especially well when one of us is elsewhere in the house or garden and the other one has rolled a joint that needs transporting. A glasses case is the perfect receptacle to keep a joint safe during delivery, and it is indeed an amusing trick with which to wow one's friends.

HorstVogel - 07 Jan 2019 13:49:01 (#15 of 44)

now that is a good trick

yumyum - 07 Jan 2019 14:25:08 (#16 of 44)

Is this the dog you had delivered to you years ago in the parcel post van or another one?

JohnIlly - 07 Jan 2019 14:45:54 (#17 of 44)

A useful trick would be to train the dog to crap in its own garden on command.

However, almost no dog owners have ever managed to do this.

thisonehasalittlehat - 07 Jan 2019 14:46:33 (#18 of 44)

What about their dogs?

HorstVogel - 07 Jan 2019 14:48:48 (#19 of 44)

they'd follow owners lead I would have thought, so crap on other people's lawns and public footpaths

a real nimby

Gotout - 07 Jan 2019 15:01:03 (#20 of 44)

I couldn't teach my dog to fetch a ball. It would run after the ball, then stand over it till I picked it up.

Or perhaps it was a very clever dog and trained me to fetch the ball?

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