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Started by KizzyK on Jun 9, 2020 12:33:06 PM
Funerals, death admin advice etc.

Trying to sort everything after our mothers death, not helped by having no access to her ipad, phone or iMac where we think we may be able to find relevant docs, emails etc. What do people do about this??!

Agaliarept - 09 Jun 2020 12:36:06 (#1 of 1018)

Can't really offer any advice but really sorry to hear this Kizzy.

Hope you're doing as well as you can.

KizzyK - 09 Jun 2020 12:41:25 (#2 of 1018)

We're fine. It was expected sooner or later and none of us were close so not upsetting to do, just frustrating.

Agaliarept - 09 Jun 2020 12:43:59 (#3 of 1018)

We're fine.

Good to hear :)

JennyRad - 09 Jun 2020 12:45:07 (#4 of 1018)

Can Apple assist with access to her devices? Does she have a known lawyer who might have paperwork? Is there a file or pile anywhere with utility bills and so on?

KizzyK - 09 Jun 2020 13:00:31 (#5 of 1018)

I would think Apple would just wipe her devices rather than allow access (understandably given we might have stolen them or something). Yes we have a family solicitor who is preparing to do all the horrendous probate stuff but she doesn't know anything about the funeral plans. My mother assured us it was all paid for and her funeral plan and wishes were held with the same firm that did my fathers funeral but they say they have no record of it hence us trying to find evidence of it.

tasselhoff - 09 Jun 2020 13:02:27 (#6 of 1018)

Could there be documentary evidence hanging round the house?

BBBilly - 09 Jun 2020 13:08:21 (#7 of 1018)

Not sure if this might help, Kizzy:

KizzyK - 09 Jun 2020 13:08:27 (#8 of 1018)

Potentially Tass, but if I tell you that my mother was a hoarder in a BIG house with numerous outbuildings and yesterday I gave my daughter the job of just starting to find two items (for charity rehoming purposes) pairs of glasses (40 found so far) and candles (1134 found so far) you may understand it could take us a year to find it!

tasselhoff - 09 Jun 2020 13:10:56 (#9 of 1018)


KizzyK - 09 Jun 2020 13:14:39 (#10 of 1018)

Thanks BBBilly. Yes it seems it is more or less as I thought.

bossab2 - 09 Jun 2020 13:26:37 (#11 of 1018)

So she didnt leave a vast list of passwords to devices and websites ?

tasselhoff - 09 Jun 2020 13:36:37 (#12 of 1018)

Weirdly enough, there was stuff on Twitter yesterday about leaving access to your stuff (password manager, estate stuff) for when you die.

KizzyK - 09 Jun 2020 13:38:53 (#13 of 1018)

Not that we've found so far but like I say, she was a hoarder, there are piles and piles of notebooks that they could be in, rooms full of stuff, bits of paper they could be scribbled on etc.

The really infuriating thing is that she told me the code for the ipad a few days ago (it was my dead brothers birth year) so I could go and video her garden for her but it doesn't bloody work now! Mystified why unless she just bloody changed it to have the last laugh or something!

sympforthedevil - 09 Jun 2020 14:28:21 (#14 of 1018)

Hi Kizzy. My mum died on the Sunday before last, so I know what you're going through. She wasn't very tech-literate, though, and I dealt with any online stuff for her (logging on to bank account, broadband-supplier etc.), so we've not got the problems that you have and I'm afraid I can't offer any advice about that.

We (my brother and I) have different problems though. We want to bury her in a small local graveyard where her parents, grandparents and ex-partner are buried. It's ex-partner (my brother's dad) grave that we're interested in - either to have her buried with him, if it's a double plot or to have her cremated and have the ashes buried in his grave. We've been told, though, that we need to find out who has the 'deeds' for that grave plot. Can't find anything in her papers and all the cemetery admin for the area is useless at the mo due to Corona.

cozzer - 09 Jun 2020 14:37:48 (#15 of 1018)

I would think Apple would just wipe her devices rather than allow access

Not necessarily. It's a different situation, of course (and might be different enough that it makes a bit differences), but my parents recently bricked a new iPad about half an hour after getting it out of the box. Because they are so techno illiterate, my brother dealt with the help line, and they were initially reluctant but eventually helped him. The point being, if you can convince them that you have a legitimate right to access the device, they will let you.

HouseOfLametta - 09 Jun 2020 14:39:25 (#16 of 1018)

Sorry for your trouble, bereaved people.

It might be that Apple would talk to the solicitor (as executor) if they won't talk to you?

Catspyjamas17 - 09 Jun 2020 14:49:26 (#17 of 1018)

So sorry for your loss, Kizzy. There is so much admin when someone dies. Have you (or someone) registered the death yet at the registrar? You usually have a week after the death to do that.

If it's anything like my area the registrar can do some of the admin for you. Usually pension and anything to do with the council. Sad we'd been too quick and done that individually before we visited the registrar.

airynothing - 09 Jun 2020 14:51:56 (#18 of 1018)

Kizz, I posted this on the GF thread: In the ordinary way, Kizz, you can take a deceased person's iDevice to an Apple store with a copy of the death certificate, and they will unlock it. Not sure how this works under lockdown, but a call to Apple might help.

moto748 - 09 Jun 2020 14:54:08 (#19 of 1018)

This thread is a kick up the arse for anyone like me, who has been thinking to themselves that it would be a good thing to gather together a list of passwords, account details etc for my family in the event of sudden death.

Just do it!

moto748 - 09 Jun 2020 14:55:13 (#20 of 1018)


And with Android, do you know?

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