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Started by melpomene on Oct 1, 2021 2:36:29 PM
Squirrel behind the radiator

So, yesterday evening, I was working in the front room (pretty much open plan from front room through to living room then kitchen), and heard the crunch of cat biscuits in the kitchen and thought no more, assuming it was the cats.I went to put the kettle on, only to see a squirrel in my kitchen. I ran at it like a screaming banshee, assuming it would go out of the open kitchen door. It didn't and sped past me to the front of the house. It didn't reappear. I left the house to go to the shop as I was in a state and was going to go anyway guv, leaving the back door open.MrM came home, I told him my tale of woe, and he 'swept' the house for squirrels.

melpomene - 01 Oct 2021 14:36:41 (#1 of 299)

Turns out, he is shit at this. As during a teams call today, there was a rustling behind the radiator in the front room. and both shit cats started stalking it. I may have screamed, to the hilarity of my colleagues (I then had to explain why). it has not yet reappeared, but there is occasional rustling.

I have called MrM to express my displeasure at the quality of his squirrel sweeping (he laughed).

I am not going near it, how the buggery do we get it out?

Arjuna - 01 Oct 2021 14:37:21 (#2 of 299)

is it a red or a grey?

melpomene - 01 Oct 2021 14:39:43 (#3 of 299)

Grey. And right now I give not a toss for endangered species, the only one in this house is me!

There's a table infront of the radiator with my printer under it, and a big paint pot and assorted stuff, he moved those around and no response, so it is clearly somewhere mid radiator, if you see what I mean. The cats have been sniffing around, but are useless, and it seems settled in.

AdonisBlue - 01 Oct 2021 14:44:36 (#4 of 299)

Ah that old one, as seen on The Detectorists. How to chase an imaginary squirrel in the flat:

TheExcession - 01 Oct 2021 14:45:57 (#5 of 299)

Grey squirrels are not endangered. They might be cute when you see them in your garden, but the little fuckers can get into your house through very tiny gaps. My parents had them in the loft as they would climb up a tree, leap onto the roof and scramble under the eaves. When we lived with my parents, MrsEx became convinced that the house was haunted as she could hear footsteps in the night - it was the squirrels leaping from beam to beam.

You can get humane traps to catch them. The only problem is that now you have a cage with a very angry large rat inside. The males are surprisingly large and vicious and they have big teeth.

nemo75 - 01 Oct 2021 14:48:14 (#6 of 299)

They are vermin. You aren’t suppose to release them if you trap them.

TheExcession - 01 Oct 2021 14:50:09 (#7 of 299)

Well the first one we took down to the woods to be with its vermin friends. it tried to murder us in the process. The rest went to squirrel heaven.

browserbutton - 01 Oct 2021 14:51:17 (#8 of 299)

They are an invasive species. Destroy them!

nemo75 - 01 Oct 2021 14:52:29 (#9 of 299)

As you say, they aren’t cute. They are big tree rats.

I had one bouncing around the balcony trying to get into the flat. The hound was furious that I wouldn’t let him go deal with it.

Tinymcsmithy - 01 Oct 2021 14:52:54 (#10 of 299)

Poor little squiggle.

TheExcession - 01 Oct 2021 14:53:16 (#11 of 299)

'They're coming out of the goddamn walls, man!'

'Let's rock!!!!'

(bursts of machine gun fire. The Colonial Marines are swamped under a tide of vicious squirrels)

Arjuna - 01 Oct 2021 14:54:00 (#12 of 299)

so who is on #teammel and who is on #teamsquirrel?

nemo75 - 01 Oct 2021 14:55:09 (#13 of 299)

Poor little squiggle.

It didn’t fall that far.

melpomene - 01 Oct 2021 14:56:34 (#14 of 299)

I just want it to exit via the route it came, I don't want to kill it or anything, I just want it gone. This is the best place to work in the house, and the rustling is unsettling.

I don't know why when I ran at it, it didnt' just go out of the garden door rather than reverse-ferreting back past me.

Arjuna - 01 Oct 2021 14:58:10 (#15 of 299)

You have a ferret too?

melpomene - 01 Oct 2021 14:58:13 (#16 of 299)

Fuck, it is at it again.

melpomene - 01 Oct 2021 14:58:25 (#17 of 299)

That might be preferable.

Arjuna - 01 Oct 2021 14:58:37 (#18 of 299)

buy a cat

nemo75 - 01 Oct 2021 14:59:00 (#19 of 299)

You’re lucky it didn’t run up your clothes and go for the jugular. They do that, you know?

melpomene - 01 Oct 2021 14:59:05 (#20 of 299)

I have two ( see header) - they are both flaming useless

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