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Started by garrick92 on 08-Mar-2011 02:26:02
Conversations overheard in public

We all do it.

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Antimatter - 08 Mar 2011 02:30:41 (#1 of 10724)

'Trouble these days is, people don't have 10 or more children anymore, so they don't get used to being ignored'.

ottoline07 - 10 Mar 2011 21:43:30 (#2 of 10724)

Woman in Poundland in Bristol (picture the scene), screaming into a mobile phone;

"Yeah, there you are, Mr Fucking Moneybags, and I've got NOTHING!"

She was clearly lying a bit, she must have had at least a pound.

ottoline07 - 10 Mar 2011 21:44:03 (#3 of 10724)

mmm, tiny writing, not tiny enough

ArchieSwert - 10 Mar 2011 21:45:41 (#4 of 10724)

A man commenting on a "lost cat" photo/sign:



"That cat's not lost. He just didn't like living there."

BuddhaPest - 11 Mar 2011 20:01:53 (#5 of 10724)

Sounds like it should have been an 'escaped cat' sign, with a reward for re-capturing the poor moggie.

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BuddhaPest - 11 Mar 2011 20:07:14 (#8 of 10724)

Ha!

moojie2 - 15 Mar 2011 07:39:21 (#9 of 10724)

Three elderly women browsing in Oxfam

First woman: I'm a bit peckish now

Second woman: So am I but the Co-op only do a few pasties.

Third woman: I'm not going back in there, its not warm, its scruffy and the woman behind the counter isn't right in the head.

ottoline07 - 15 Mar 2011 09:39:42 (#10 of 10724)

That third woman could be describing any Co-op in the UK.

MysteryDate - 15 Mar 2011 10:00:54 (#11 of 10724)

'Trouble these days is, people don't have 10 or more children anymore, so they don't get used to being ignored'.

Excellent.

surferboogiewhatever - 17 Mar 2011 18:20:36 (#12 of 10724)

In the sub-category "Conversations overheard in school"...

Child: What's an analogue?

Adult (not me): It depends what you mean, An analogue watch is a watch with hands.

Child: Oh! [long pause] Nothing to do with grapes then?

Sorcha65 - 19 Mar 2011 18:05:15 (#13 of 10724)

A My sister's going out with a bloke she met in India.

B Oh, that's good.

A <faint embarrassment> He's a plumber.

B <faint protesting noises about it being fine to go out with a plumber.>

A <cheering up> But he's Israeli. It's a bit different. <long pause> Mediterranean diet and all that.

brouhahaha - 21 Mar 2011 07:22:40 (#14 of 10724)

In Edinburgh, a woman pointing out landmarks to a small boy: 'that's called the Scott Monument... Mr Tumble's been up there'.

SonOfaCyniK - 24 Mar 2011 00:56:18 (#15 of 10724)

Good weather we've been happening in Manchester recently, oddly enough. The following was directed by one of two elderly gentlemen, pointing vaguely in the direction of the sun -

"Shine on, you beauty!"

Perhaps you sort of had to be there, but it's not often you hear a seventy year old say something with such conviction.

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SonOfaCyniK - 24 Mar 2011 01:00:58 (#17 of 10724)

(Ouch.)

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binturong - 24 Mar 2011 08:20:35 (#19 of 10724)

'I don't think Joey's a Joey.'

'No?'

'No, I think he's a Josie. You can tell by the nails.'

smiggy - 24 Mar 2011 15:37:13 (#20 of 10724)

Prejudices confounded:

I walked up behind a half dozen or so shaven tattooed types.

Alpha stt: Oi, Wayne! Why did you bump into that bloke?

Weedy Wayne: It was an accident. I didn't mean to!

Alpha stt: Did you say sorry?

Weedy Wayne: Yes.

Alpha stt: Are you sure?

I passed out of earshot before I heard the rest.

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