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Started by fenderstrat on Jan 24, 2019 6:57:18 PM
Things we say to our pets


You'll have to have manchego tonight, Bailey, we've run out of the stilton I got for you.

mingmong - 24 Jan 2019 19:10:31 (#1 of 47)

To the cat "It's ok. The monsters have gone now."

Said whenever Mrs Ming and the Minglet leave the house

thisonehasalittlehat - 24 Jan 2019 19:12:53 (#2 of 47)

die die die!!!

RosyLovelady - 24 Jan 2019 19:13:26 (#3 of 47)

The litany of soppy endearments with which I embrace our cats, Alf and Clarry, is far too embarrassing to mention here.

solomongursky - 24 Jan 2019 19:16:49 (#4 of 47)

"Fuck him Knacker".

Shadrack22 - 24 Jan 2019 19:25:51 (#5 of 47)

Consider yourself at home

Consider youself one of the family

We've taken to you so strong

It's clear we're going to get along!

Anchorman - 24 Jan 2019 19:39:01 (#6 of 47)

To my neighbour's flatulent dog

" Hello fart arse!"

BenSawbridg - 24 Jan 2019 19:45:16 (#7 of 47)

Are you not an animal lover yourself, Ranchs?

FleurDuMal - 24 Jan 2019 19:47:46 (#8 of 47)

I never used baby talk to my children; I always used it to my cat.

CloakAndDagger - 24 Jan 2019 19:49:33 (#9 of 47)

I have full conversations with my cat, and when she meows in response I am off the scale happy. I’m basically Dr Dolittle.

I wasn’t a fan of animals before we got her, now I will absolutely do time if anyone causes her the slightest discomfort.

Tadagee - 24 Jan 2019 19:54:19 (#10 of 47)

Things i say to our dog


It gets quite the reaction.

helbel - 24 Jan 2019 19:59:04 (#11 of 47)

"No you cannot have more treats just because you wound round my ankles prettily"

"Here's your extra treats"

djsuggz - 25 Jan 2019 23:25:32 (#12 of 47)

I am in almost constant conversation with the dog. He mostly sighs at me, or cocks his head uncomprehendingly. He makes me ever so happy. I missed rabbiting away at him for the year I was out of the country.

otraynor - 05 Feb 2019 10:55:25 (#13 of 47)

To the cat: No no Misha.

He probably thinks his name is No No Misha.

To the dog: full conversations on philosophy, theology, history, the great questions of why and how. She's a Border Collie. And she listens intently, tilting her head. And when we have exhausted ourselves on the question of the nature of being, we put on the great American television show called "Too Cute," which is just a full hour of puppies and kittens.

Agaliarept - 05 Feb 2019 11:13:54 (#14 of 47)

Last night to the cat:

"Fuck off Larry you've got food in your bowl you massive fat wanker..I swear to god if you meow at me one more time I going to step on you"

5 minutes later as she sat on my lap while I tried to eat dinner:

"Aww poor Larry is so hungry, here have some of my potato"

She must think I have multiple personality disorder.

pranzingfrogg - 05 Feb 2019 11:18:41 (#15 of 47)

Three thirty am: For godsake SHUT IT!!

Three thirty five am:

Sorry, little fella, here, have a biscuit

Shadrack22 - 19 May 2020 22:00:52 (#16 of 47)

"What'chu talkin' 'bout, Willis?"

KizzyK - 26 Sep 2021 08:59:58 (#17 of 47)

"look if you'd just move your head more than 1cm out of the way I'd be able to put my shoes on much faster to talk you for a walk you twat"

KizzyK - 26 Sep 2021 09:00:31 (#18 of 47)

I love him really but he IS a twat.

Tenesmus - 26 Sep 2021 09:35:58 (#19 of 47)

Daisy! Stop crisscrossing in front of me on the way downstairs! It's delaying me feeding you and it'll delay even more if I'm at the bottom of the stairs with a broken neck!

Tadagee - 26 Sep 2021 10:37:48 (#20 of 47)

Stop pretending to be ferocious Lola, you're not fooling anyone.

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