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Started by RosyLovelady on 10-May-2017 07:56:26
Back in the news: death by avocado

The Guardian brought you this terrifying report in 2006 and now the rest of the media have caught up.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2006/nov/
21/foodanddrink.uk


It was on the Today programme this very morning. People with avocado injuries are clogging up A&E departments up and down the land.

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browserbutton - 10 May 2017 08:07:29 (#1 of 167)

If you don't know how to use a knife (ffs, etc.) try this corkscrew tip:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fm1c9BMc5d8

Moschops - 10 May 2017 08:10:43 (#2 of 167)

Or, grow up and learn to use a knife you big wuss

dreams99 - 10 May 2017 08:18:52 (#3 of 167)

I stabbed myself with a knife last night trying to get an avocado stone out, and heard the report on Today as I was cycling in.

Ginmonkey - 10 May 2017 08:19:58 (#4 of 167)

Who are these idiots? Cutting open an avocado is easy. Hold it steady on a chopping board, cut all the way round with a sharp knife and then twist the two halves away from each other.

To be fair I have a scar on my knuckle from putting my hand through a martini glass but at least I have the excuse of being off my tits on gin at the time

browserbutton - 10 May 2017 08:22:01 (#5 of 167)

twist the two halves away from each other

But one half is the 'pit half'. To get the pit out, stab with a sharp knife.

Arthur Scargill: "You can take the man out of the pit, but you'll never take the pit out of the man. Brothers I move!"

dreams99 - 10 May 2017 08:22:13 (#6 of 167)

cut all the way round with a sharp knife and then twist the two halves away from each other.

That's the easy bit. Getting the stone out cleanly is harder.

Moschops - 10 May 2017 08:23:50 (#7 of 167)

Hit the stone sharply with the blade of the knife, twist slightly and remove with it still attached to the knife. Scrape against side of bin to dislodge.

Ginmonkey - 10 May 2017 08:23:58 (#8 of 167)

Not if you use a ripe avocado. Also don't stab hard to shift stuff with a sharp knife!

browserbutton - 10 May 2017 08:24:52 (#9 of 167)

Scrape against side of bin

Or if it's stubborn, bang against the side of the sink.

Shabbyman - 10 May 2017 08:25:28 (#10 of 167)

Don't stab it, clunk the knife into it crossways with the middle of the blade. Twist to remove the stone then a quick flick sends the stone flying in the direction of your choice.

dreams99 - 10 May 2017 08:25:46 (#11 of 167)

Hit the stone sharply with the blade of the knife, twist slightly and remove with it still attached to the knife.

Or with the point. While holding it. Works fine, just once every 8 years or so the knife slips and goes through the hand.

upgoerfive - 10 May 2017 08:25:59 (#12 of 167)

The avocados could make an excellent case that it was self defence.

Moschops - 10 May 2017 08:26:29 (#13 of 167)

Or with the point. While holding it.

That's for people who like to live life on the edge. The thrillseekers.

browserbutton - 10 May 2017 08:27:02 (#14 of 167)

The Aztecs used to practice their avocado knife skills on human heads.

RosyLovelady - 10 May 2017 08:28:59 (#15 of 167)

< That's for people who like to live life on the edge. The thrill seekers. >

And those hoping to achieve some form of metropolitan elitist victimhood.

PaperRustler - 10 May 2017 08:30:06 (#16 of 167)

Or with the point. While holding it. Works fine, just once every 8 years or so the knife slips and goes through the hand.

No, *not* with the point. If you do it as Shabbyman suggests, the knife won't slip and you won't ever cut yourself.

dreams99 - 10 May 2017 08:31:32 (#17 of 167)

Gee thanks, PR I guess I needed someone to tell me how not to stab myself in the hand the day after I stabbed myself in the hand.

I bet you turn up at accident scenes saying 'You don't want to do that...'

Moschops - 10 May 2017 08:32:07 (#18 of 167)

If you do it as Shabbyman suggests, the knife won't slip and you won't ever cut yourself.

The only way you can cut yourself is if you miss the stone, in which case plastic utensils are the way forward

nac1001 - 10 May 2017 08:34:28 (#19 of 167)

I've cut my fingers while cutting many different sorts of fruits and vegetables but never an avocado and I cut at least one every week.

Ginmonkey - 10 May 2017 08:35:35 (#20 of 167)

If the stone is really hard to get out the avocado often won't be ripe enough and therefore horrible.

Stope eating unripe avocados.

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