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Started by Tinymcsmithy on May 12, 2021 7:50:43 AM
Some of my figs are drier than others

I bought some figs, which I love.

But I've noticed that in this bunch in particular some of them are much drier than usual. Obviously they are all 'dry', but these ones are lighter in colour and weight and I wonder if I should be suspicious of them?

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ReverendBlueJeans - 12 May 2021 09:33:45 (#1 of 16)

Don't think so. I love a fig in any condition anyway.

Bought some dates in Home Bargains, though, that were horrible. Dry and leathery and indistinguishable from the pip.

Tinymcsmithy - 12 May 2021 09:46:42 (#2 of 16)

Ugh. Good dates are fantastic. Worth paying more for.

champagnerocker - 12 May 2021 09:51:40 (#3 of 16)

Has your wife (who might have recently altered your will after tricking the head Vestal) been up every night applying poison to the figs with a paint brush in order to ensure that her son from an earlier marriage can become emperor of Rome?

hailesaladdie - 12 May 2021 09:58:32 (#4 of 16)

And some figs' mothers are drier than other figs' mothers.

Tomnoddy - 12 May 2021 09:59:28 (#5 of 16)

Figs ain't what they used to be.

Tricyrtis - 12 May 2021 10:00:25 (#6 of 16)

your wife

Was that Agrippina?

champagnerocker - 12 May 2021 10:01:22 (#7 of 16)

Livia Drusilla

Tricyrtis - 12 May 2021 10:05:00 (#8 of 16)

Thanks, I always forget her name.

ReverendBlueJeans - 12 May 2021 10:05:55 (#9 of 16)

#2

Yes, it's a mistake I won't make again.

Tylenol - 12 May 2021 11:01:03 (#10 of 16)

Was that Agrippina

She poisoned half a plate of mushrooms, ate out of one side and offered the other side to her husband and uncle, Claudius.

RosyLovelady - 12 May 2021 11:04:36 (#11 of 16)

Those bars of cheap chopped-up dates we used to have as a childhood treat: they were good.

Tinymcsmithy - 12 May 2021 11:32:32 (#12 of 16)

I am not Ceasar.

uranrising - 12 May 2021 11:47:53 (#13 of 16)

Has your wife (who might have recently altered your will after tricking the head Vestal) been up every night applying poison to the figs with a ...(etc.)

I shouldn't fig so. You've been readin' another of them books agin, hincha?

browserbutton - 12 May 2021 11:52:48 (#14 of 16)

I like to nibble on Chinese salty plums.

https://tinyurl.com/y4fjkzpf

ReverendBlueJeans - 12 May 2021 12:04:23 (#15 of 16)

I like to nibble on Chinese salty plums.

Best said in a kinda Kenneth Williams voice, I think.

JohnIlly - 12 May 2021 12:07:09 (#16 of 16)

In his Chou En Ginsberg voice?

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