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Started by FeudalClink on Dec 4, 2018 11:32:02 AM
Freak injuries wot I have suffered

Just for Van D

FeudalClink - 04 Dec 2018 11:33:03 (#1 of 70)

I once saved a potentially match winning full force blockbuster shot with my testicles - couldn't stand up straight for a week.

FeudalClink - 04 Dec 2018 11:35:55 (#2 of 70)

Earlier in the same 5 a side game, I stood up briskly in disgust after letting in a goal and cracked a Charltonesque header off the underside of the bar. Bump the size of an egg that was later put in sharp perspective by my swollen testicles.

Moschops - 04 Dec 2018 11:36:42 (#3 of 70)

I may have mentioned it before, I hurt my toe last week.

Bonusy - 04 Dec 2018 11:37:03 (#4 of 70)


Agaliarept - 04 Dec 2018 11:38:02 (#5 of 70)

I was in goal for a charity game. 2 minutes in someone tried a cheeky lob. I back peddled and stopped the ball but was at full speed when I ran into the goal post.

I hit the floor in a heap and just managed to get the ball in my hands. Stood up to take the kick, as I planted my left leg, it snapped.

FeudalClink - 04 Dec 2018 11:38:15 (#6 of 70)

Are you sure its not an ingrowing toenail? They are murder

Moschops - 04 Dec 2018 11:39:12 (#7 of 70)


That's what makes it freakish

Agaliarept - 04 Dec 2018 11:39:47 (#8 of 70)

Are you sure its not an ingrowing toenail? They are murder

Now you mention it.

FeudalClink - 04 Dec 2018 11:41:20 (#9 of 70)

Ouch Ag!

I also broke my ankle playing centre half - jumped up to chest the ball and as I came down, I was body barged in the back. My speed of descent doubled and as I landed, my toes bent back to touch my shin. Same noise and sensation you would get if you put a large bag of crisps in a shoe and bent it over.

Agaliarept - 04 Dec 2018 11:41:54 (#10 of 70)

my toes bent back to touch my shin.

That made my teeth itch :(

FeudalClink - 04 Dec 2018 11:43:15 (#11 of 70)

Made mine squeak a bit too

cozzer - 04 Dec 2018 11:43:28 (#12 of 70)


Moschops - 04 Dec 2018 11:43:29 (#13 of 70)

I broke a different toe walking downstairs this summer

SinnerBoy - 04 Dec 2018 11:45:26 (#14 of 70)

Aged 14, we were on some waste ground, in the dark. I spotted a football and punted it.

It wasn't a football, it was a white, concrete sphere. I broke my toe. I staggered about a mile home, then cycled about four miles to the hospital.

My mother was out. They cleaned up the mangled flesh and laughed.

widenation - 04 Dec 2018 11:47:05 (#15 of 70)

Ouch - had someone painted black pentagons on it?

Moschops - 04 Dec 2018 11:47:50 (#16 of 70)

I tried to cut a piece of mdf with a Stanley knife, managed to put a fairly deep slash at the base of my thumb. Had to drive to A&E one handed.

FeudalClink - 04 Dec 2018 11:49:52 (#17 of 70)

That was no time to have a wank Chops

TRaney - 04 Dec 2018 11:50:54 (#18 of 70)

When I was a kid I was opening a tin of dog food and didn’t quite cut all the way round with the tin opener. So I put my thumb and forefinger either side of lid bit on the edges serrated by the opener, and pulled. It didn’t come off...

FeudalClink - 04 Dec 2018 11:54:06 (#19 of 70)

Always remember this one - kid in our metal work class was a bit thick. He was blow torching something or other when another kid tapped him on the shoulder. Around he turned holding his blowtorch ...

It looked like the aftermath of a Bugs Bunny cartoon - all frizzled hair, curly wisps of smoke and looks of shock!

Moschops - 04 Dec 2018 11:54:41 (#20 of 70)

I set my hair on fire with a Bunsen Burner in chemistry once

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