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Started by Mazzarin on Mar 7, 2022 4:40:19 PM
Great Insults

While vulgarity is often called for some of the greatest putdowns are positively poetic with every word a dagger.

Please post your favourites.

Thread Inspiration: Reply of the Zaporozhian Cossacks (referenced on the FAT Insane In Ukraine thread).

Mazzarin - 07 Mar 2022 16:47:18 (#1 of 83)

Two of my favourites...

Tolkien vs the Nazis.

...and Sparta. Possibly apocryphal.

Phillip II of Macdeon: "If I invade Lacdonia (Sparta) you will be destroyed, never to rise again."

Sparta: "If."

dottie30 - 07 Mar 2022 17:23:07 (#2 of 83)

Oscar Wilde on his fellow Dublin born playwright George Bernard Shaw:

"He has no enemies and all his friends hate him."

Lawlsie - 07 Mar 2022 17:31:48 (#3 of 83)

Ernest Bevin when told Herbert Morrison was his own worst enemy replied: “Not while I’m alive he ain’t.”

champagnerocker - 07 Mar 2022 17:45:42 (#4 of 83)

I'm not going to cheer myself up by ever looking at a Ukraine thread, but did the OP's insult on the other thread include a link to this reading of that insulting exchange between Ade Edmonson and Olivia Coleman:

solomongursky - 07 Mar 2022 18:17:49 (#5 of 83)

Kenneth Williams called Joan Sims a "cow-cunted mare".

Antimatter - 07 Mar 2022 18:20:10 (#6 of 83)

Frasier Crane, speaking of Sam in an episode of Cheers,

'The intelligence of lint, and the morals of a rutting sperm whale'.

Lawlsie - 07 Mar 2022 19:15:01 (#7 of 83)

#4 no it didn't. That was great

Lawlsie - 07 Mar 2022 19:16:46 (#8 of 83)

Arkell v Pressdram never fails to make me smile

widenation - 07 Mar 2022 19:32:42 (#9 of 83)

John Montagu, 4th Earl of Sandwich "Sir, I do not know whether you will die on the gallows or of the pox,"

John Wilkes "That depends, my lord, on whether I embrace your lordship's principles or your mistress."

Lawlsie - 07 Mar 2022 19:36:04 (#10 of 83)

Ha ha ha.

TheExcession - 07 Mar 2022 19:37:00 (#11 of 83)

Lady Astor: Mr Churchill, if you were my husband I'd put poison in your tea.

Churchill: Madam, if you were my wife: I'd drink it.

Macpaddy - 07 Mar 2022 19:37:05 (#12 of 83)

Kenneth Williams called Joan Sims a "cow-cunted mare".

I'll take some convincing that that is true.

True Fact. I NEVER say/use the C word IRL.

browserbutton - 07 Mar 2022 19:37:19 (#13 of 83)

Bessie Braddock: Winston, you are drunk, and what’s more you are disgustingly drunk.

Winston Churchill: Bessie, my dear, you are ugly, and what’s more, you are disgustingly ugly. But tomorrow I shall be sober and you will still be disgustingly ugly.

Probably not true.

Lawlsie - 07 Mar 2022 19:39:46 (#14 of 83)

Didn't Churchill also say an empty taxi pulled up and Clement Attlee stepped out?

Macpaddy - 07 Mar 2022 19:42:41 (#15 of 83)

#13 I heard Churchill's retort as "In the morning I shall be sober while you will still be ugly."

browserbutton - 07 Mar 2022 19:48:29 (#16 of 83)

He was no great beauty himself though.

TommyDGNR8 - 07 Mar 2022 19:55:53 (#17 of 83)

Both those "Churchill" quotes were previously attributed to Victorian politicos. If he did use them, he was paraphrasing/plagiarising.

Tomnoddy - 07 Mar 2022 19:56:52 (#18 of 83)

Probably both.

frantastic - 07 Mar 2022 19:58:06 (#19 of 83)

Churchill of Attlee, “He is a modest little man with much to be modest about.”

solomongursky - 07 Mar 2022 20:05:29 (#20 of 83)

A case in point is a diary excerpt from 1969 when he fell out with Joan Sims on the set of Carry On Camping. “Her patronage & assumption at times that she should tell me what to do, is intolerable. I shouted ‘You cow cunted mare’ and Hattie [Jacques] intervened and told me to stop it.”

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