No smilies, no avatars, no flashing gifs. Just discuss the issues of the day, from last night's telly via football to science or philosophy.
Started by Agaliarept on Jan 14, 2019 1:18:55 PM
I think a lot of successful people seriously lack certain skills that I have....

...and yet I struggle to reach the levels of what others define as 'successful'.

See post 1.

Previous
|
Next
|
Top
|
Bottom
Agaliarept - 14 Jan 2019 13:18:58 (#1 of 159)

A request to start this thread from poster pal FrankieTeardrop.

I commented elsewhere that I think I am more skilled in certain areas than some people who have more success than me.

Genuinely I think some of the skills I have have become seriously undervalued these days while some skills I don't have are seen as the be all and end all.

Pls to discuss.

FrankieTeardrop - 14 Jan 2019 13:21:49 (#2 of 159)

The quote that piqued my interest was:

"I struggle constantly with the entire concept of 'success' and cannot for the life of me understand how people who seem to me to be much shallower than me are doing 'better' than me."

So much to unpack - firstly, what is your struggle with the concept of "success" - and why the scare quotes around "success"?

Agaliarept - 14 Jan 2019 13:23:48 (#3 of 159)

firstly, what is your struggle with the concept of "success" - and why the scare quotes around "success"?

Because success means different things to different people. I think In some areas I'm very successful and in others not so much.

That's why I sometimes struggle to define success.

The quote marks are because personally I haven't settled on a definition for it.

mememe - 14 Jan 2019 13:24:17 (#4 of 159)

A more useful way to approach this might be to ask yourself if you're happy, and if not what could you do about it in terms of changing jobs, acquiring new skills or altering your behaviour.

I know enough people who earn a ton more money than I do because they're more 'successful' to know they're no happier than I am. Less in many cases.

Agaliarept - 14 Jan 2019 13:26:46 (#5 of 159)

A more useful way to approach this might be to ask yourself if you're happy, and if not what could you do about it in terms of changing jobs, acquiring new skills or altering your behaviour.

Well really I am happy. I've just given up smoking and am starting the long awaited loft conversion at home.

I'd love to change jobs but kind of accept my life (as I set it up) needs me to do this work. As I age I'm getting better at accepting certain things.

I know it's not forever so really have come out of the dark place I was in a year or so ago. I would love to change jobs but accept I don't currently have the time to make the changes I would need to to make a job I would really like work for my family.

FrankieTeardrop - 14 Jan 2019 13:26:50 (#6 of 159)

"That's why I sometimes struggle to define success."

I Reckon the answer to this is simple - don't bother defining it.

Agaliarept - 14 Jan 2019 13:28:33 (#7 of 159)

I Reckon the answer to this is simple - don't bother defining it.

Yeah but it's helpful in a discussion about whether someone has been successful at life.

I accept it just has different meanings.

Like I said, while I see people being successful at work who I can't understand how they cross the road every day without dying, I also see that I am streets ahead of them in other areas.

Gotout - 14 Jan 2019 13:30:05 (#8 of 159)

some people who have more success than me.

Their daddies are better connected?

mememe - 14 Jan 2019 13:31:37 (#9 of 159)

Yeah but it's helpful in a discussion about whether someone has been successful at life.

I passed a road once in Levallois or somewhere that was called 'rue Edith Cavell', named after the nursing pioneer who had less good PR skillz than Florence Nightingale. I remember thinking at the time that if you have a road named after you in a foreign country, you've done well in life.

FrankieTeardrop - 14 Jan 2019 13:31:49 (#10 of 159)

I've spent many years playing gigs (band and DJ), putting on events and so on. These are often made more stressful than enjoyable because we'd worry about whether people will turn up, will we cover costs, pay the acts, will there be someone who will "discover" me and lead to my big break, and on and on and on.

One day, I had an epiphany that the most enjoyable event ever would be one where the sole criterion of success of an event would be to hear good music/records over a loud soundsystem. That's it. Now I've stopped thinking about anything but that, and stopped hoping I'll be discovered or whatever, I'm having loads of fun.

Also, that the fun of putting on a night includes all the stress about organising it, replacing last minute drop-outs, that sort of thing. Enjoy the whole thing, rather than just the bits that provide a temporary ego boost or feel good in the short term.

PostmodernToss - 14 Jan 2019 13:32:10 (#11 of 159)

I know enough people who earn a ton more money than I do because they're more 'successful' to know they're no happier than I am. Less in many cases.

Just so. My banker/city lawyer friends are far more jealous of my job than I am of theirs. Most quietly confess that they’d love to teach but school fees and hefty mortgages mean they can’t even contemplate the pay cut. Not sure being trapped in a job you don’t really enjoy is “success”.

Conversely, the only friend of mine whose job I envy earns less than I do; he’s an Anglican priest.

FrankieTeardrop - 14 Jan 2019 13:32:41 (#12 of 159)

"Like I said, while I see people being successful at work who I can't understand how they cross the road every day without dying, I also see that I am streets ahead of them in other areas."

How much time do you think they devote to working out whether you are better than them or not?

mememe - 14 Jan 2019 13:32:44 (#13 of 159)

Surely one of the big perks of private school teaching is the 90% off the fees.

FrankieTeardrop - 14 Jan 2019 13:33:25 (#14 of 159)

"Most quietly confess that they’d love to teach but school fees and hefty mortgages mean they can’t even contemplate the pay cut."

There exist state schools and council housing.

PostmodernToss - 14 Jan 2019 13:33:31 (#15 of 159)

Not many schools will give you 90% but most will give you 2/3.

Agaliarept - 14 Jan 2019 13:34:33 (#16 of 159)

How much time do you think they devote to working out whether you are better than them or not?

How much time do you think I devote to it?

I'm not at all depressed about this FT. It's just something I've noticed.

People levels above me at work who cannot speak in front of a crown of more than 2 people.

It's not something I dwell on, more just something I've noticed.

FrankieTeardrop - 14 Jan 2019 13:43:26 (#17 of 159)

With those people, easiest to accept that the people who asked them to do whatever it is they do thought they were best suited for the job, regardless of their public speaking.

Do you want to be at that level of work yourself? If so, that’s easily solved. If not, forget all about why they are there and you aren’t.

What did you mean when you said people are shallower than you, yet more successful?

FrankieTeardrop - 14 Jan 2019 13:44:16 (#18 of 159)

Also, I never said you were depressed about this.

You brought that word into the discussion, though.

lammaMia - 14 Jan 2019 13:51:08 (#19 of 159)

Genuinely I think some of the skills I have have become seriously undervalued these days

Why are they undervalued?

mememe - 14 Jan 2019 13:52:14 (#20 of 159)

Because people don't want them, I suppose. I guess Aggers is saying they should but don't realise it.

Previous
|
Next
|
Top
|
Bottom
Check Subscriptions
|
Home » Issues