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Started by ReverendBlueJeans on Jun 2, 2020 11:08:36 AM
In times like these, only McGonagall can help us

The Great McGonagall always puts a smile on the jolly old physog,

A thread to share his mighty works, discuss them, extol them, perhaps even try to emulate them.

In these ghastly times we need to smile, our spirits need help to soar.

We need McGonagall.

ReverendBlueJeans - 02 Jun 2020 11:09:39 (#1 of 106)

Let's have one of two poems the great man write about the Worlds Greatest City;

The Beautiful City of Glasgow

O, beautiful city of Glasgow, which stands on the river Clyde,

How happy should the people be which in ye reside;

Because it is the most enterprising city of the present day,

Whatever anybody else may say.

The ships which lie at the Broomielaw are most beautiful to see,

They are bigger and better than any in Dundee;

Likewise the municipal buildings, most gorgeous to be seen,

Near to Ingram Street, not far from Glasgow Green.

Then the warehouses are filled from the floor to the topmost storey,

With goods which brings Glasgow money and glory,

And the men who own them are most liberal, I do declare,

Because I got money from them when there.

O, wonderful city of Glasgow, with your triple expansion engines,

At the making of which your workmen get many singeins;

Also the deepening of the Clyde, most marvellous to behold,

Which cost much money, be it told.

Then there is a grand picture gallery,

Which the keepers thereof are paid a very large salary;

Therefore, citizens of Glasgow, do not fret or worry,

For there is nothing like it in Edinburgh.

And the happiest night I ever spent

Was in Glasgow, where I got as much as pay my rent

From your merchant princes most fine,

Who likewise sang a song to me called Clementine.

Which was most beautiful to hear, also a dance

Round and round, all singing at once;

And the treatment I got in Glasgow, I must confess,

Was better even than Inverness.

Oh, beautiful city of Glasgow, I must conclude my lay,

By calling thee the greatest city of the present day:

Fore your treatment of me, was by no means churlish,

Therefore I say, “Let Glasgow Flourish.”

Yersinia - 02 Jun 2020 11:17:12 (#2 of 106)

I love this beatiful typo:

lapsedcat - 02 Jun 2020 11:18:50 (#3 of 106)

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo wonderful bridge over the silvery Tay...

That's all I can remember.

ReverendBlueJeans - 02 Jun 2020 11:18:55 (#4 of 106)


HouseOfLametta - 02 Jun 2020 11:22:54 (#5 of 106)

That will be regretted for many a long day.

browserbutton - 02 Jun 2020 11:25:41 (#6 of 106)

“Oh, Water of Leith! Oh, Water of Leith,

Where the girls go down to wash their teeth;

And o’er the stream there is a house right knackie,

Of that grand old man, Professor Blackie.”

HouseOfLametta - 02 Jun 2020 11:28:48 (#7 of 106)

That's a nice short one.

Unlike this.

Spontu - 03 Jun 2020 15:41:23 (#8 of 106)

Whatever became of those noble stanzas by the Auld Padre that began:

‘Oh beautiful Club of the Note and the Query,

With your heaped sausage rolls and your brickwork so cheery’?

browserbutton - 03 Jun 2020 16:02:20 (#9 of 106)

'And your fine bronze bust of Michael O'Leary.'

Snarlygog - 03 Jun 2020 19:28:16 (#10 of 106)

We teach the Exeter Theatre fire on our live events courses.

ReverendBlueJeans - 04 Jun 2020 11:35:32 (#11 of 106)

Pour the sherry, open the hock!

Celebrate the marvellous JusttheTalk!

Its discussions are most beautiful to be seen

To read them all I am very keen.

HouseOfLametta - 04 Jun 2020 11:37:08 (#12 of 106)

Except in the folders of US of A,

The frightful opinions have driven me away.

ReverendBlueJeans - 04 Jun 2020 12:54:13 (#13 of 106)

And I am very pleased to say

The Isr/Pal thread has gone astray.

uranrising - 04 Jun 2020 13:20:03 (#14 of 106)

Alas it would appear that the government covid pantomime

Is likely to be with us, I am sorry to have to say, for a very long time

The Good Lord has seen fit to send us a coronovirus

Which will be around, in many nooks and crannies, a while among us.

pranzingfrogg - 04 Jun 2020 13:30:22 (#15 of 106)

All praise to the great William Topaz McGonagall!

His fame has spread from Dundee to Durban to Donegal

His poetry leaps like a hawk on the wing

And makes us all smile, that’s a very good thing

Without the insights of the estimable William Topaz

We’d be in a right old pickle, and all that jazz.

uranrising - 04 Jun 2020 13:48:39 (#16 of 106)


ReverendBlueJeans - 05 Jun 2020 10:57:09 (#17 of 106)

Nothing cheers the soul like a McG rapping about a maritime disaster;

Eligelis - 05 Jun 2020 11:04:18 (#18 of 106)

All hail to to the great hero Horserider

To find a better Scotsman you would have to go far

But his fame would precede you wherever you did go

For the Horserider is known and loved in the Highlands and low.

browserbutton - 05 Jun 2020 11:24:39 (#19 of 106)

Horsey could often be seen with his librarian friend Valerie

Admiring the fine paintings at Glasgow's Buchanan Gallery.

Later, having partaken of sufficient amber liquid strong and malted

He would rouse bystanders with a battle cry of “SCOTLAND ALLTID!!1!”

pranzingfrogg - 07 Jun 2020 14:45:51 (#20 of 106)

When McGonagall roamed the GU Talk ranges,

He subsisted on the occasional kindness of strangers;

He was banned for derailing and trolling and things,

And endless posts about lemons and wolf bags and shiny strings,

And epic verse that he just couldn’t make scan,

Remains as an eternal monument to a man

Who triumphed as a poet against overwhelmingly enormous odds

Though his whereabouts are a secret not known even to the mods.

So, sing all ye posters, to McGonagall, William Topaz,

While I nip out the back for a much needed

Stuck for a rhyme there.

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