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Started by ReverendBlueJeans on Dec 5, 2021 3:30:04 PM
Got a Morris Marina? An Austin 1100? Something equally underwhelming? Then this is for you...

Yes, the Festival of the Unexceptional ! Cancelled in 2020 but ran last summer. If you still have a car that might have been driven by a civil servant in an 80s sitcom, THIS IS YOUR FESTIVAL!!!

ReverendBlueJeans - 05 Dec 2021 15:30:36 (#1 of 40)

I see they have food stands and a bar but nothing else. So it's really all about the rustbuckets.

JohnIlly - 05 Dec 2021 15:34:00 (#2 of 40)

All I have is a tartan shopping trolley.

FleurDuMal - 05 Dec 2021 16:16:06 (#3 of 40)


You are wonderful, RBJ!

upgoerfive - 05 Dec 2021 16:25:26 (#4 of 40)

We had not one, but two Marinas when I was a kid.

That's right - having suffered owning one, Dad bought another.

Dreadful cheaply-built tin cans.

Gotout - 05 Dec 2021 16:29:46 (#5 of 40)

Years ago I had a 1.8 Marina, It was quite quick in a straight line but didn't like corners.

DonkeyOT - 05 Dec 2021 17:54:49 (#6 of 40)

Wasn't the Austin Allegro supposed to be a big turkey?

I had a Hillman Imp.

phantlers - 05 Dec 2021 18:03:26 (#7 of 40)

There is a Vanden Plas (posh Austin?) Princess still running hereabouts. I asked the elderly owner would he part with it and he seemed to think it was fabulously collectible. We parted amicably enough but I'mmore likely to agree a price with another guy near here who has a collection of grey Fergies.

Quite fancy one of those, especially one that runs on TVO (paraffin). They carry a small amount of petrol for starting.

levelgaze - 05 Dec 2021 18:28:38 (#8 of 40)

We have a C15 Romahome... with A Lot of underbelly welding. Other campervan/motorhome owners smile indulgently but definitely wouldn't swap.

FleurDuMal - 05 Dec 2021 18:32:35 (#9 of 40)

I had a Hillman Imp.

So did I. It was my first car. Bits used to drop off it as I drove along.

DonkeyOT - 05 Dec 2021 18:41:44 (#10 of 40)

The heater water feed ran to the dashboard along the sills, it soon perished so the interior was always icy in winter. My sister bought me a pair of posh (Dent's) string backed gloves (seventies). I found them behind an old drawer in the basement. They went in the washer and then I applied leather balm to the palms and they were good as new.

Zugunruhe1 - 05 Dec 2021 18:50:49 (#11 of 40)

Our stepdad had a 1.8 Morris Marina. He bought it in 1975 when it was only a year old. It burnt engine oil and you had to carry a can of the stuff in the boot. On the plus side, you could keep goldfish in the footwells.

Zugunruhe1 - 05 Dec 2021 19:02:31 (#12 of 40)

He went on to buy an Ambassador some years later. It was even worse. The cylinder head blew. The third gear had to be double-clutched. Also, a front wheel came off when a driveshaft snapped. Windscreen wipers stopped working and the wheel bearings screeched, even when they were replaced. The car was only a couple of years old and it was ready for the scrap yard.

Tomnoddy - 05 Dec 2021 19:20:45 (#13 of 40)

A gf drove me out to South Queensferry in her mum's Austin 1800 for an evening's partying. The heater didn't work, it was the coldest night of the year. My teeth didn't stop chattering until she dropped me off back home in Edinburgh late at night.

ReverendBlueJeans - 05 Dec 2021 22:47:10 (#14 of 40)

There are some sites where you can find out the number of registered old, rather than classic, cars on UK roads. Still hundreds of Metros.

Verdigris - 05 Dec 2021 22:57:11 (#15 of 40)

I had a Marina estate for about a fortnight. Just about tolerable to drive when empty. Put a bag of cement in the back and it was virtually uncontrollable.

upgoerfive - 06 Dec 2021 06:04:35 (#16 of 40)

Still hundreds of Metros

Metros were actually pretty reliable mechanically. The old A-Series engine dated back to 1951, and the basic running gear to the original Mini (1959?), so they'd pretty much sorted any weaknesses.

The bodywork served as an effective demonstration of Chemistry In Action though.

(My first car was a sky-blue 1300 Metro, with a beige offside door and a red tailgate.)

Snarlygog - 06 Dec 2021 06:35:31 (#17 of 40)

My mate RK had an Allegro, which we used to terrorise mid Devon at 80s weekends. The passenger door sized so I had to enter via the window and the rear wheel fell off once. Happy days.

HorstVogel - 06 Dec 2021 06:43:51 (#18 of 40)

That's right - having suffered owning one, Dad bought another.

a mate of mind had three in sequence, a hard breed them Marina drivers. We* did learn how to fix them mind.

* Muggins helped out fixing the things, I did find visiting scrap yards for spare parts interesting (1980's if anyone is wondering).

One good thing about Marinas, the heating was up and running very quickly.

ReverendBlueJeans - 06 Dec 2021 08:41:50 (#19 of 40)

We had two successive Metros. Astonishing storage space for a little 'un.

upgoerfive - 06 Dec 2021 09:02:15 (#20 of 40)

Yes. I once volunteered to help a friend swap the engine in his Escort.

Managed to get the new engine in the boot, a folding engine hoist jammed diagonally across the car, and my friend in the rear seat.

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