No smilies, no avatars, no flashing gifs. Just discuss the issues of the day, from last night's telly via football to science or philosophy.
Started by RosyLovelady on Aug 30, 2015 2:54:39 PM
The Ill

A thread to celebrate our minor ailments and indispositions and get advice on their treatment, based on anecdotal evidence, wot-I-reckonry and other internet wrongmo opinion.

lapsedcat - 30 Aug 2015 15:02:52 (#1 of 164)

I just got paint on my leg and have ripped out several hairs while trying to remove it. Is there a doctor in the thread who can prescribe a remedy?

wickeltisch - 30 Aug 2015 15:38:30 (#2 of 164)

Oh. I hoped this would be about this Ill, a lovely part of France it is in:

is disappointed now.

Brunothecat - 30 Aug 2015 15:45:38 (#3 of 164)

Cellulose thinners and cotton wool. Don't spill it on the car.

RosyLovelady - 30 Aug 2015 16:02:51 (#4 of 164)

That does look lovely, wickel. Sorry you were disappointed, and thank you for posting the link anyway.

thismorning - 30 Aug 2015 16:29:45 (#5 of 164)

What if invisible spiders are farming beneath my bristly white beard, seems to be a kind of soreness, and a radishness..

Brunothecat - 30 Aug 2015 16:38:53 (#6 of 164)

Your chin is turning in to a radish? You probably need to put a dressing on it.

JohnIlly - 30 Aug 2015 16:39:40 (#7 of 164)

The French put butter on radishes.

browserbutton - 30 Aug 2015 16:42:12 (#8 of 164)

They're probably face mites, everybody has them:

Your chin is an ECOSYSTEM.

Post by deleted user
FleurDuMal - 30 Aug 2015 17:02:01 (#10 of 164)

Drink the vodka - it works wonders for your eyesight.

Post by deleted user
pranzingfrogg - 30 Aug 2015 17:14:39 (#12 of 164)

I have strawberries growing out of a certain orifice. The chemist suggested I get some cream.

RosyLovelady - 30 Aug 2015 17:27:42 (#13 of 164)

I wouldn't waste good vodka testing that out that claim, Fender.

I don't think there's anything you can do about those floating thingies. They sometimes shrink or disappear spontaneously and they're harmless anyway.

SlasherBindman - 30 Aug 2015 17:37:15 (#14 of 164)

What can be better than a minor illness? You withdraw to the bedroom, either to get back into bed or to lie on the bed. Half-light entering through partially drawn curtains. The reassuring murmur of daytime Radio 4. The workaday world goes on outside, but here within the sanctum time is your own and your mind can wander.

JohnIlly - 30 Aug 2015 17:47:40 (#15 of 164)

To be serious for a moment, apparently a sudden increase in floaters is a cause for concern and you should see an optician quickly in case of retinal detachment.

RosyLovelady - 30 Aug 2015 17:49:28 (#16 of 164)

It's back to some of the best times in childhood, Slasher.

Macpaddy - 30 Aug 2015 18:06:16 (#17 of 164)

The reassuring murmur of daytime Radio 4.

I cannot remember the last time I turned the radio on.

thismorning - 30 Aug 2015 20:17:28 (#18 of 164)

Do ya remember the last thing you heard on the radio...maybe a Verdi opera...or a sputtering hum.

Macpaddy - 30 Aug 2015 20:21:51 (#19 of 164)

No, not really. Probably something on Radio 2 or 4.

tasselhoff - 31 Aug 2015 09:21:04 (#20 of 164)

I was sharpening a big knife prior to slicing some pork belly yesterday.

For some inexplicable reason, I held the sharpener the wrong way round and as I vigorously sharpened the knife it inevitable slid off and sliced my finger to the bone.

I rushed to the bathroom, splashed my finger with betadine and wrapped it in a huge plaster. It's a funny shade of purple today.

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