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Started by lapsedcat on Feb 22, 2016 2:00:57 PM
Bean in a monkey

Two questions:

1) Were you directly responsible for it being there?

2) Would you attempt to remove it without laudanum?

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upgoerfive - 22 Feb 2016 14:12:09 (#1 of 57)

Sure you don't mean a Monk in a Beanie?

https://500px.com/photo/25715293/beanie-monk-by-lukas-ruiz

TinyMcOtter - 22 Feb 2016 14:14:39 (#2 of 57)

Aardvark mangoes have spatulas resonance in the parabola of a wind farm.

Eligelis - 22 Feb 2016 14:16:22 (#3 of 57)

1) I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it would incriminate Lapsed.

2) That depends on how much Laudanum you're expecting me to take.

Explicity2 - 22 Feb 2016 14:20:24 (#4 of 57)

I've never been in a monkey and I'll sue anyone who says otherwise. Unless they have photographic proof.

frantastic - 22 Feb 2016 14:27:17 (#5 of 57)

Typical lapsed, anything with a pulse.

Stillife - 22 Feb 2016 14:33:38 (#6 of 57)

How would you feel if you were a legume trapped in a chimps body?

(It isn't a laughing matter)

Bromio - 22 Feb 2016 14:41:11 (#7 of 57)

I might report this to the mods for libel unless you have some proof that Sean Bean really has had an unnatural relationship with a monkey.

wickeltisch - 22 Feb 2016 14:42:59 (#8 of 57)

I was rather thinking of Mr Bean.

Bromio - 22 Feb 2016 14:49:01 (#9 of 57)

Disgusting.

wickeltisch - 22 Feb 2016 14:49:23 (#10 of 57)

I know.

wickeltisch - 22 Feb 2016 14:51:07 (#11 of 57)

I'm wondering what kind of bean lapsed is thinking of. Those coffee beans that are digested by monkeys and turned into the world's most expensive coffee?

Macpaddy - 22 Feb 2016 14:51:27 (#12 of 57)

Are we so desperate that this is entretainment?

lapsedcat - 22 Feb 2016 14:54:30 (#13 of 57)

I imagine the conversation between Senor Monkey and I would run a little along these lines:

ME: Nice tan.

SENOR MONK: Just back from holiday, actually.

ME: Been anywhere nice?

SENOR MONK: Not really, it's up my bum.

wickeltisch - 22 Feb 2016 14:55:12 (#14 of 57)

Cats shit, monkeys spit.

http://www.themostexpensivecoffee.com/monkey-poop-coffee/

wickeltisch - 22 Feb 2016 14:55:43 (#15 of 57)

So it can't be up Senor Monk's bum.

Eligelis - 22 Feb 2016 14:56:34 (#16 of 57)

How would you feel if you were a legume trapped in a chimps body?

Flatulant.

wickeltisch - 22 Feb 2016 15:01:28 (#17 of 57)

Bobgunnia madagascariensis (or snake bean) might well feel trapped in a chimp's body but the chimp might also have some problems digesting this beast.

http://www.zimbabweflora.co.zw/speciesdata/images/
12/127240-1.jpg

lapsedcat - 22 Feb 2016 15:09:47 (#18 of 57)

ME: So, would you like me to get it out?

SENOR MONK: What is this, a Carry On film?

ME: I mean, get the bean out. Of your bottom.

SENOR MONK: Oh. I'm not sure. It would require such intimacy that my family would probably put pressure on us to get married as a result.

ME: I'm not prepared to go that far.

SENOR MONK: Ok. Then instead of your fingers use a wire coat hanger. That'll be fine.

Bromio - 22 Feb 2016 15:11:43 (#19 of 57)

Where coffee really comes from:

https://c2.staticflickr.com/2/1598/24826640669_225
3651c47_o.jpg

lapsedcat - 22 Feb 2016 15:18:01 (#20 of 57)

SENOR MONK: That's not the right bean. You've removed the wrong bean.

ME: How many beans are up there?

SENOR MONK: Now? One. Thanks for nothing. You want to put that bean back where you found it and try actually pulling out the right bean? JESUS.

ME: I don't HAVE to do this you know.

SENOR MONK: Make quick with the bean, fucko.

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