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Started by JerkinMcGherkin on Sep 19, 2016 10:01:43 PM
Shortened films

"Hey everyone, Willie Boy was here!"

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TommyDGNR8 - 19 Sep 2016 22:12:43 (#1 of 654)

Commander, someone's jettisoned an escape capsule but there are no signs of life on board.

Standard rebel procedure - they've stored the plans in a droid. Blast it out of space.

Yes sir. <boom>

Pentecost - 19 Sep 2016 22:17:57 (#2 of 654)

Here's looking at you, kid. Now, get on the plane so I can have another beatiful friendship.

AlanII - 19 Sep 2016 22:38:21 (#3 of 654)

Those three cunts on bikes just need shooting. Blow them away.

BBBilly - 19 Sep 2016 22:47:36 (#4 of 654)

"Excuse me, my train is running late, is there a buffet on the station?"

"Platform five"

"Thanks awfully"

BBBilly - 19 Sep 2016 23:00:50 (#5 of 654)

"A ring to Mount Doom? Pop it on the scales. £2.75, it'll be there Thursday".

Pentecost - 19 Sep 2016 23:10:47 (#6 of 654)

Famously: Boy meets girl; girl dies.

AlanII - 19 Sep 2016 23:22:56 (#7 of 654)

It's just his bloody sled (or his mistress' clitoris if you prefer).

JohnIlly - 19 Sep 2016 23:26:14 (#8 of 654)

"Some aliens have arrived and want to meet people at Devils Tower in Wyoming."

"How do you know?"

"They took over a TV station and announced it."

BBBilly - 19 Sep 2016 23:48:58 (#9 of 654)

"I don't know who you are, I don't know what you want"

Sorry, we didn't get that; Press 1 to pay a ransom, 2 for customer service.

"I don't have money, but what I do have is a particular set of skills"

Sorry, we didn't get that; Press 1 to pay a ransom, 2 for customer service.

"Oh fuck it"

Pentecost - 19 Sep 2016 23:49:06 (#10 of 654)

The Nazis have a big weapon, and we need a plucky bunch of stereotyped Brits to damned well see that it fails as always.

JerkinMcGherkin - 20 Sep 2016 20:52:15 (#11 of 654)

"The outlaws are coming here to kill me and the town couldn't care less? Sod this for a game of soldiers. Here's the badge back - I'm gone."

SinnerBoy - 21 Sep 2016 10:26:24 (#12 of 654)

"So, Tuco, the plan is that I never miss. Just before they hang you, I'll shoot the rope through, the horse will bolt and we'll share the reward cash."

Hmmm, fuck it. He seems like a pain in the arse.

And Blondie doesn't shoot, but fucks off with the dosh.

The end.

Tadagee - 21 Sep 2016 10:49:59 (#13 of 654)

Butch: Where's my watch?

Fabienne: It's there.

Butch: No it's not.

Fabienne: It should be.

Butch: Oh yes, sorry - it was under my shirt. Thanks Fabi.

Agaliarept - 21 Sep 2016 11:41:27 (#14 of 654)

"ICEBERG DEAD AHEAD!"

<steers boat>

"Phew! That was close"

<boat continues on to New York>

Tadagee - 21 Sep 2016 12:05:55 (#15 of 654)

We've got William Wallace's wife. Shall we slit her throat?

Nah, she's not really done anything wrong. May as well let her go.

foghorn - 21 Sep 2016 12:29:11 (#16 of 654)

Hit 1955, fuck Biff up and grab a sports almanac.

JerkinMcGherkin - 21 Sep 2016 20:39:00 (#17 of 654)

So Alfredo Garcia shagged my daughter - big deal.

barkis - 21 Sep 2016 20:46:57 (#18 of 654)

"Actually officer my name's Keyser Söze".

Post deleted by user
pranzingfrogg - 21 Sep 2016 23:04:54 (#20 of 654)

"Martha, there's s a little boy in this hollow meteor thing"

"It's none of our business, George. Drive on"

"yeah, he'll be OK, looks pretty strong."

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