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Started by SinnerBoy on 12-Oct-2017 14:42:09
My Dog's a Grass

When playing hide and seek with my daughter, the bloody dog stands by me and huffs and huffs.

My daughter has cottoned onto this now. The dog doesn't provide the same service me!

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Agaliarept - 12 Oct 2017 14:48:28 (#1 of 28)

Get a cat.

rgtstoppedcounting - 12 Oct 2017 14:50:17 (#2 of 28)

Hide dog treats in your daughter's pocket.

TRaney - 12 Oct 2017 15:46:15 (#3 of 28)

Oh, I was hoping this was going to be a Bill thread

wickeltisch - 12 Oct 2017 15:51:52 (#4 of 28)

I was more thinking lapsed.

wickeltisch - 12 Oct 2017 15:52:34 (#5 of 28)

Is it a big or a tiny dog? If it's tiny, stuff it in your pocket.

browserbutton - 12 Oct 2017 15:58:41 (#6 of 28)

If your dog is 'winter skiing' along the grass on its bottom, it needs worming. If it has a habit of eating grass, it probably thinks it's a cow.

thismorning - 12 Oct 2017 16:39:05 (#7 of 28)

I prefer the politically correct term. Differently sized dog. Boldly, as is my nature, I still refer to the long oppressed and libeled creature known by thick racists as a dog, a dog.

wickeltisch - 12 Oct 2017 16:55:52 (#8 of 28)

Differently sized dog

Canine correctness is now a thing to consider? Can you still talk about the black dog?

SinnerBoy - 12 Oct 2017 17:00:30 (#9 of 28)

rgtstoppedcounting -

Hide dog treats in your daughter's pocket.

Now there's an idea...

As to size, she's a medium sized, 30 kg Golden Labrador. She doesn't have the ring scraping habit, fortunately.

LardyStuffer - 12 Oct 2017 17:00:47 (#10 of 28)

Dog of colour isn't it?

SinnerBoy - 12 Oct 2017 17:01:29 (#11 of 28)

Well, gingery-yellow.

foghorn - 12 Oct 2017 17:05:36 (#12 of 28)

Abandon it on a motorway.

SinnerBoy - 12 Oct 2017 17:17:32 (#13 of 28)

No way! She'd find her way home.

Gotout - 12 Oct 2017 17:30:05 (#14 of 28)

If your dog is 'winter skiing' along the grass on its bottom, it needs worming.

Or it needs its anal glands squeezing. That's a really unpleasant job for the vet, the smell is unbelievable!

pranzingfrogg - 12 Oct 2017 17:38:44 (#15 of 28)

Cringes at the memory.

thismorning - 12 Oct 2017 17:48:46 (#16 of 28)

oh no, that gave me earworm of Bob Hope's theme song: thanks for the memories....with a bit of melisma it works a treat.

thismorning - 12 Oct 2017 17:51:38 (#17 of 28)

grass skiing on the lawn

eating the sofa when we're gone

how lovely it was

oh well, I thatz life I guess

I'll always love your mess

cringing at the memories

wickeltisch - 12 Oct 2017 17:55:53 (#18 of 28)

Abandon it on a motorway

You're a monster, foghorn.

thismorning - 12 Oct 2017 17:59:58 (#19 of 28)

worse than a thousand Hitlers, maybe more!

wickeltisch - 12 Oct 2017 18:05:32 (#20 of 28)

I hope the Hound of the Baskervilles will get him.

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