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Started by lapsedcat on Jan 30, 2018 4:51:27 PM
Film titles which are simply not true

I was draped across my chaise-lounge earlier today watching some shouty dreck on ITV with as much insouciance as I could muster, awaiting the mail - I was eagerly expecting a very important flyer from the local pizzeria. Soon I heard the familiar crunch of the postman as he walked up my drive (he really needs to wash his trousers) and the doorbell rang. I tensed but didn't move.

"Are you not going to answer that?" said my friend Simon.

"No," I replied, "If it really is him he'll ring again."

"Will he?"

"Yes," I said firmly, "He always does."

He didn't. He went away and thus I did not take delivery of the precious pizza flyer. It taught me a valuable lesson: don't believe everything you hear in the movies.

What other film titles are outright fibs?

widenation - 30 Jan 2018 17:05:58 (#1 of 238)

They Live.

Tadagee - 30 Jan 2018 17:08:33 (#2 of 238)

Why would he ring to deliver a pizza flyer? Don't you have a letterbox?

I suspect flaming pants.

Anyway, 'Attack of the Clones'. Unless you mean attacking my will to live.

cozzer - 30 Jan 2018 17:09:14 (#3 of 238)

These days, postmen very rarely even ring once, they just shove a 'we called and you were out, come and collect it from the sorting office' card through the letterbox.

breakfast - 30 Jan 2018 17:10:09 (#4 of 238)

The Cat Returns

lapsedcat - 30 Jan 2018 17:10:39 (#5 of 238)

It's Tuesday but I'm in Altrincham.

thisonehasalittlehat - 30 Jan 2018 17:12:12 (#6 of 238)


O hi lapsed people are all like lapsed this lapsed that where's lapsed oh my god I miss lapsed it's got really tedious so it's good you're back as they'll stop now.

phantlers - 30 Jan 2018 17:13:28 (#7 of 238)

Gone With The Wind.

The wind might be gone but it left its mark.

Gotout - 30 Jan 2018 17:14:42 (#8 of 238)

he really needs to wash his trousers

Beaky was the postman?

lapsedcat - 30 Jan 2018 17:16:46 (#9 of 238)

Message for Messrs Snipes and Harrelson: I can't speak for everyone but I certainly can.

HouseOfLametta - 30 Jan 2018 17:38:59 (#10 of 238)

You only live twice.

SinnerBoy - 30 Jan 2018 19:24:46 (#11 of 238)

Hah! I have you there! I was forced to watch A Chorus Line, as a nipper and was bored to death.

And yet, here I am.

AppleCatcher - 30 Jan 2018 19:25:28 (#12 of 238)

The Mechanic. He’s a fucking assassin.

SinnerBoy - 30 Jan 2018 19:30:10 (#13 of 238)

That doesn't really count, as "mechanic," as explained in the film, is underworld slang for "assassin."

To be fair.

phantlers - 30 Jan 2018 19:40:29 (#14 of 238)

The Hit Man and Her. OK, not a film but not an assassin neither.

SAW otoh, had several sequels and they also murdered many a decent tune.

col2001 - 30 Jan 2018 19:41:24 (#15 of 238)

And if they need an actual mechanic?

phantlers - 30 Jan 2018 19:48:24 (#16 of 238)

They'd call Mike.

flowbagging - 30 Jan 2018 20:04:31 (#17 of 238)

The Longest Day, bollocks, they didn't have to wait for my ex getting ready to go out.

thisonehasalittlehat - 30 Jan 2018 20:11:30 (#18 of 238)


Didn't open a can once. Intercorn more like.

peacalmer - 30 Jan 2018 20:14:05 (#19 of 238)

Star Trek, the Search for Spock. They knew where he was.

lapsedcat - 30 Jan 2018 20:17:21 (#20 of 238)

What, and they still bothered finding him?

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