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Started by JerkinMcGherkin on Apr 2, 2018 9:26:56 PM
Public transport makes misanthropes of us all

Or to put it another way, hell is other people on a crowded train.

Pentecost - 02 Apr 2018 21:28:35 (#1 of 399)

Their hell is being crowded with me.

Jonked - 02 Apr 2018 21:31:07 (#2 of 399)

I'd rather a crowded train than be a passenger in the car of the vast majority of drivers.

FleurDuMal - 02 Apr 2018 21:31:43 (#3 of 399)

My problems:

  • loonies - fuck off and be mad elsewhere
  • people who sniff
  • people who smell
  • the crazy woman who had a deplorably needy conversation with her boyfriend, on the No36 bus last Wednesday

RosyLovelady - 02 Apr 2018 21:32:47 (#4 of 399)

I love public transport. There just isn't enough of it.

surferboogiewhatever - 02 Apr 2018 21:38:05 (#5 of 399)

If there was no public transport there would be hardly any Conversations Overheard In Public.

AshburtonAbove - 02 Apr 2018 21:38:41 (#6 of 399)

rural public transport can be bad.

lapsedcat - 02 Apr 2018 21:43:21 (#7 of 399)

There is one undeniable fact regarding public transport: that bloke who stands up the front of the bus chatting to the driver is and always will be an utter bellend.

JerkinMcGherkin - 02 Apr 2018 21:44:54 (#8 of 399)

The people who feel the need to tell the driver their entire life story when they're holding everyone else up from getting on the bus need a word.

surferboogiewhatever - 02 Apr 2018 21:48:02 (#9 of 399)

I haven't seen the nutter who tells everyone his life story for a while. At one point his story changed slightly so that instead of having been born with brain damage (he's quite open about this) he was actually born dead.

JerkinMcGherkin - 02 Apr 2018 21:54:52 (#10 of 399)

Crowds of football fans making football fan noises. Yes, we get it. Your team did something or other. Well done them.

Young woman on phone - do you think your mother really wants the details of her private life shared with a carriage full of strangers? Obviously you must do.

Fatjack55 - 02 Apr 2018 22:03:27 (#11 of 399)

Neatly dressed old ladies with charming rural accents, who go into a paroxysm of racism if a non-white person gets on or passes by.

TheExcession - 02 Apr 2018 22:11:12 (#12 of 399)

Mobile phones: ruining other people's train journeys since the late 1990s.

Verdigris - 02 Apr 2018 22:13:52 (#13 of 399)


JerkinMcGherkin - 02 Apr 2018 22:22:43 (#14 of 399)

I was on a full commuter train to work a while ago, when some chappie decided to begin his business call with "I'm telling you this in strictest confidence..."

You really aren't, you know.

Shadrack22 - 02 Apr 2018 22:56:09 (#15 of 399)

Shaggy-haired young men waiting to board the flight from Vilnius to Leeds-Bradford airport, reeking of alcohol at 7am, discussing making a ‘booty call’ to your girlfriends when you get home. Romance - where is it now?

carterbrandon - 02 Apr 2018 23:10:19 (#16 of 399)

When they eat their food on the train, not the concourse or the station. They worst are the young men with the straggly beards. Last week one was spooning some sloppy porridgy gloop into a hole in his beard at 8am. Halfway through he got bored with it and let it dangle limply above my knee, so I spent 20 minutes expecting to arrive at work covered in baby sick special effect.

And there was the one I've posted about before. Shovelling his homemade garlic and mince pizza from tinfoil to face with his fingers while some poor lady shrank away in horrified silent revulsion under the yoke of her own Britishness. The coup de grace being when he scooped handfuls of what had dropped off it from his crotch and the floor, and returned it to the tinfoil bundle.

sqeezy - 02 Apr 2018 23:11:45 (#17 of 399)

booty call

Like Bernard Matthews?

DesEsseintes - 02 Apr 2018 23:14:35 (#18 of 399)

Those if you see anything strange security announcements.

I mean logically surely anyone out to cause mischief is going to be at pains to appear normal.

uranrising - 03 Apr 2018 10:03:46 (#19 of 399)

hell is other people on a crowded train.

Or to put it another way, we are hell to other people.

AlanII - 03 Apr 2018 10:07:12 (#20 of 399)

There is one undeniable fact regarding public transport: that bloke who stands up the front of the bus chatting to the driver is and always will be an utter bellend.

Oh God, yes. This seems to be a universal truth that knows no borders as well.

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