No smilies, no avatars, no flashing gifs. Just discuss the issues of the day, from last night's telly via football to science or philosophy.
Started by lapsedcat on Jun 12, 2018 1:02:29 PM
Can't go outside due to frog

There's a frog - about the size of a terrier - sitting on the path which leads from my back door to the garage. I need a screwdriver but I fear four things in this world: snails, frogs, snakes and upturned chairs. I can't even describe a wide arc around the amphibian as with a single bound it could be on top of me. Even opening the back door a crack could be all it needs to force entry. In such an instance I would have to move out - there is no way I could physically remove a frog from my living quarters. I suppose I could pay a local urchin or somebody unemployed who would welcome the £2 to get rid of it.

Why can't it just piss off and find a lilypad or whatever it is that frogs are into?

Previous
|
Next
|
Top
|
Bottom
Cordelia - 12 Jun 2018 13:03:42 (#1 of 157)

Try kissing it - it might turn into a Prince. Are you afraid of princes?

mingmong - 12 Jun 2018 13:03:44 (#2 of 157)

Flick v-signs at it from your window

lapsedcat - 12 Jun 2018 13:04:11 (#3 of 157)

In a Rik-stylee?

SheikYerbouti - 12 Jun 2018 13:04:18 (#4 of 157)

This is the real whimsy, right here.

phantlers - 12 Jun 2018 13:05:06 (#5 of 157)

Ask it a few general knowledge questions. If it cannot answer it may be a dense frog and you could be stuck inside for days.

lapsedcat - 12 Jun 2018 13:06:20 (#6 of 157)

This is the real whimsy, right here.

Yes. Thanks for pointing it out with your usual devil-may-care swagger, Poundshop Renders.

SheikYerbouti - 12 Jun 2018 13:07:40 (#7 of 157)

I love it when you get snippy. Its like a glimpse behind the curtain.

lapsedcat - 12 Jun 2018 13:09:17 (#8 of 157)

I'll let you know when I'm heading towards full Peter Finch in Network meltdown.

SheikYerbouti - 12 Jun 2018 13:09:40 (#9 of 157)

I would hope it would be obvious, or at least signposted on the football sneering thread.

BlueBoy - 12 Jun 2018 13:10:50 (#10 of 157)

'upturned chairs'.

Tenesmus - 12 Jun 2018 13:15:35 (#11 of 157)

A rational and completely understandable fear.

Brunothecat - 12 Jun 2018 13:25:10 (#12 of 157)

Get yourself one of those mobility scooters with a sort of cabin of clear plastic. Even frogs can't get in to those since they don't have claws. Use the scooter to ride straight into the house giving the frog your middle finger as you roll unconcernedly by.

tasselhoff - 12 Jun 2018 13:25:51 (#13 of 157)

Or a pogo stick

Gotout - 12 Jun 2018 13:28:55 (#14 of 157)

Take it to your nearest motorway and let it play Frogger.

moto748 - 12 Jun 2018 13:35:31 (#15 of 157)

owing to frog, FFS.

Gotout - 12 Jun 2018 13:37:07 (#16 of 157)

I first thought it said "Can't go outside due to fog".

Tenesmus - 12 Jun 2018 13:37:22 (#17 of 157)

Well I never.

lapsedcat - 12 Jun 2018 13:39:02 (#18 of 157)

Get yourself one of those mobility scooters with a sort of cabin of clear plastic. Even frogs can't get in to those since they don't have claws. Use the scooter to ride straight into the house giving the frog your middle finger as you roll unconcernedly by.

GENIUS.

sqeezy - 12 Jun 2018 13:39:16 (#19 of 157)

You should mock it. Rib it, even.

tasselhoff - 12 Jun 2018 13:39:50 (#20 of 157)

badum tish!

Previous
|
Next
|
Top
|
Bottom
Check Subscriptions
|
Home » The Haven