No smilies, no avatars, no flashing gifs. Just discuss the issues of the day, from last night's telly via football to science or philosophy.
Started by SorrellA on Apr 25, 2019 8:58:45 AM
Lost at the Bottom of the World

Post your whimsy here

nemo75 - 25 Apr 2019 09:55:34 (#5 of 2009)

I don't know why anybody would prefer a hob kettle, unless they genuinely enjoy waiting ages for their first cup of tea/coffee in the morning.

They are quicker in uncivilised parts of the world that don't have a domestic energy supply with enough oomph.

TheVoiceOfReason - 25 Apr 2019 10:30:29 (#6 of 2009)

There’s something pleasingly bulky about my Le Creuset (paging Liz Jones) hob kettle; makes a cup of tea more like a ritual. It is a pain to have to wait for it to boil, though, and also having to rush to turn the whistle off if you’re upstairs.

HouseOfLametta - 25 Apr 2019 10:37:09 (#7 of 2009)

This is enjoyable.

LippyPongstocking - 25 Apr 2019 10:39:21 (#8 of 2009)

Yes, splendid work from Mr Rayner, there.

Rendered - 25 Apr 2019 10:40:41 (#9 of 2009)

Muttony pisshead Sarah Vine's Twitters name is 'WestminsterWAG'?

LippyPongstocking - 25 Apr 2019 10:41:19 (#10 of 2009)

Why yes it is. Sexy, eh?

helenskywalker - 25 Apr 2019 10:42:35 (#11 of 2009)

Not even with yours.

Crayola - 25 Apr 2019 11:07:35 (#12 of 2009)

She's the friend of a friend who the 'baby's arm holding an orange' thing came from.

Crayola - 25 Apr 2019 11:08:40 (#13 of 2009)

I love an angry/disappointed Jay Rayner.

Sabacious - 25 Apr 2019 11:48:48 (#14 of 2009)

Jay Rayner's new podcast is very entertaining. I particularly liked Tracey Ullman's Jack Nicholson story; they both had children on the same football team.

HouseOfLametta - 25 Apr 2019 12:50:36 (#15 of 2009)

I enjoyed the article on hand driers. It brought back two teenage memories. One, was of a shitty job where (inter alia) I had to wrap the towels for roller towels in cling film and put them on a pallet. Every so often I would delve into one and write

HeLp I aM a pRisoNer iN a rollEr toWel

Near the middle.

Another was of going into a McDonalds completely off my box on something and going to the loo. I used the hand dryer, not noticing the bin for hand towels was underneath. It set up a beautiful blue blizzard of swirling towels, dancing and whirling which I found entrancing, magical (and apparently memorable). I’m not sure the next user of the facilities would agree.

Cordelia - 25 Apr 2019 12:59:19 (#16 of 2009)

In the staff loo at the Observatory there’s one of those extremely powerful downwards pointing air dryers on the wall, and as it’s a teeny tiny cubicle it’s right next to the toilet paper roll dispenser which is one of those big round ones.

If anything more than the teeniest edge of toilet paper is protruding from the dispenser, the hand dryer is powerful enough to catch the edge and unroll a large percentage of the paper in about 10 seconds - decorating the entire cubicle in a manner which would render the average American teen TPing his neighbour’s tree on Halloween green with envy.

Rendered - 25 Apr 2019 13:01:34 (#17 of 2009)

Talk of hand dryers inevitably makes me think of former poster GeorgeOrwell using a Dyson one to dry his plums.

LippyPongstocking - 25 Apr 2019 13:02:09 (#18 of 2009)

Talk about low-hanging fruit.

helenskywalker - 25 Apr 2019 13:11:19 (#19 of 2009)

Did he say why they needed drying?

TheVoiceOfReason - 25 Apr 2019 13:13:28 (#20 of 2009)

Poor old GeorgeOrwell and his soggy plums; where are they now?

Rendered - 25 Apr 2019 13:14:10 (#21 of 2009)

On tour with FredDee's sweaty orbs.

slicey - 25 Apr 2019 14:09:55 (#22 of 2009)

As I am on holiday I have started on the latest jack reacher. The first chapter he meets seven (7) hells angels from whom he requires some information. Spoiler tag in case you haven't read it yet.

reacher wins the fight by inflicting a series of ghastly injuries on the knees and groins of his hapless opponents including at least one headbutt.

helenskywalker - 25 Apr 2019 15:05:38 (#23 of 2009)

Did he try asking nicely first?

LippyPongstocking - 25 Apr 2019 15:07:19 (#24 of 2009)

"Excuse me, where's the gents' loo?"

Check Subscriptions
Home » The Haven