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Started by thismorning on Apr 30, 2019 8:59:26 PM
What do you do with a flat choir?

just asking while the Parish meeting seems to have reached another nerve wracking lull.

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DonkeyOT - 30 Apr 2019 21:29:02 (#1 of 30)

Recruit some singers who can sing in tune, the only viable option.

virgil5 - 30 Apr 2019 21:29:25 (#2 of 30)

Rum. Rum is the answer.

thisonehasalittlehat - 30 Apr 2019 21:29:39 (#3 of 30)

Footpump?

virgil5 - 30 Apr 2019 21:31:37 (#4 of 30)

No. The flagon.

widenation - 30 Apr 2019 21:33:00 (#5 of 30)

Rum punch isn't a bad idea.

upgoerfive - 30 Apr 2019 21:34:11 (#6 of 30)

Shoot them one at a time until the tunefulness improves.

You know it's the only language they understand.

hailesaladdie - 30 Apr 2019 21:35:02 (#7 of 30)

> Rum. Rum is the answer

Just a little sharpener...

FGBFGB - 30 Apr 2019 21:35:50 (#8 of 30)

Select atonal hymns.

hailesaladdie - 30 Apr 2019 21:36:53 (#9 of 30)

Transpose by a semitone.

widenation - 30 Apr 2019 21:43:33 (#10 of 30)

Ghost chili peppers perhaps.

quartus - 30 Apr 2019 22:25:11 (#11 of 30)

breast enhancement?

bossab2 - 30 Apr 2019 22:28:40 (#12 of 30)

Claim on the insurance and rebuild it ?

https://wikivisually.com/wiki/Choir_(architecture)

widenation - 30 Apr 2019 22:33:16 (#13 of 30)

Laughing gas and/or helium. And Ghost chilis.

OldLefty - 30 Apr 2019 22:37:33 (#14 of 30)

My dad conducted for many years (and I also sang in for quite a while) a church choir where one of the basses sang flat. Fortunately, he was counteracted by one of the tenors who sang sharp. Eventually, the tenor died. From then on, we usually finished any unaccompanied piece around a semitone lower than we started it.

uranrising - 30 Apr 2019 23:32:22 (#15 of 30)

Hilarious.

thismorning - 30 Apr 2019 23:36:35 (#16 of 30)

ust an olde saying, but if looking for the Devil in a church, begin with the choir...choir at St. Birgitta has been near great in the past, but now a feminist egotist has horned in and itz the sound of teeth grinding in hell again they just cant stand a tenor dominating....she struts around like red hen with a worm on a leash..tsk.

thismorning - 03 May 2019 04:29:21 (#17 of 30)

Always good idea to have a spare somewhere, perhaps in a shed behind the rectory.

Vendor - 03 May 2019 04:51:14 (#18 of 30)

- 10 points.

thought it was Kizzy.

JerkinMcGherkin - 03 May 2019 10:43:24 (#19 of 30)

What do you do with a flat choir?

Pump up the volume?

thisonehasalittlehat - 03 May 2019 10:57:05 (#20 of 30)

It's less of a problem if the bass is out of tune as people are less able to differentiate bass notes. Innit.

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