No smilies, no avatars, no flashing gifs. Just discuss the issues of the day, from last night's telly via football to science or philosophy.
Started by Agaliarept on Mar 10, 2020 2:46:03 PM
A limerick....
Agaliarept - 10 Mar 2020 14:46:29 (#1 of 27)

No cheating, 1 billion dollars for the first with the correct answer.

FleurDuMal - 10 Mar 2020 14:56:58 (#2 of 27)

A dozen plus gross plus a score

Plus three times the square root of four

Divided by seven,

Plus five times eleven

Equals nine squared plus zero, no more

Cheque please!

uranrising - 10 Mar 2020 15:09:01 (#3 of 27)

<stands to ovate>

FleurDuMal - 10 Mar 2020 15:09:59 (#4 of 27)

Never mind the applause - show me the money!

Macpaddy - 10 Mar 2020 15:11:38 (#5 of 27)

Money? You took the word of a bloke with a man bun. Don't be silly.

Agaliarept - 10 Mar 2020 15:40:14 (#6 of 27)

Cheque please!

Cheque in the post ;)

Money? You took the word of a bloke with a man bun. Don't be silly.

Knew that would come back to bite me...wasn't expecting it so fast...

thepurpleturtle - 10 Mar 2020 20:40:05 (#7 of 27)

I think the cheque is mine...There once was a man from Leeds Who swallowed a packet of seeds Great tufts of grass Sprouted out of his ass And his b...s were covered in weeds.

Macpaddy - 10 Mar 2020 22:07:10 (#8 of 27)

A young fraulein from Westphalia

had a fanny shaped like a dahlia.

Fve quid a caress, was quite a success,

But a tenner a sniff was a failure.

FleurDuMal - 10 Mar 2020 22:09:26 (#9 of 27)

You lot aren’t as clever as me.

Macpaddy - 10 Mar 2020 22:11:04 (#10 of 27)

My formula was far too complicated for simple maths.

I was very impressed with your answer.

CarlosFandango - 10 Mar 2020 22:26:05 (#11 of 27)

Also impressed, more with the attention to scansion than with the rhyme-words. That was relatively simple/ given four, score, another four, then seven and eleven.

Marco's dahlia nonsense is piffle of course. Lines 3 and 4 are

the petals revealed

what they should have concealed

No need to elaborate on the others.

ZimAgain - 10 Mar 2020 23:41:09 (#12 of 27)

#8 - That should be East Westphalia, not just because it scans, but because it is an actual region.

Not that I knew her.

Macpaddy - 11 Mar 2020 00:46:31 (#13 of 27)

As if I care.

FleurDuMal - 11 Mar 2020 07:37:01 (#14 of 27)

Also impressed, more with the attention to scansion than with the rhyme-words.

Did you expect anything less?

quartus - 11 Mar 2020 07:48:06 (#15 of 27)

The Pekinese dog, my dear child

Can be dangerous if it is riled.

Let us peek at the Peke

at the peak of its pique -

So fearsome, so vicious, so wild!

(c) me

SinnerBoy - 11 Mar 2020 11:53:52 (#16 of 27)

Two ugly sisters from Fordham

Went for a walk out of boredom

On the way back

A sex maniac

Jumped out of a bush and ignored 'em.

This post brought to you by 70s Sexist Dinosaurs Inc

carterbrandon - 11 Mar 2020 13:42:29 (#17 of 27)

There was a young lady of Deane

Whose ear for a tune was not keen,

She said: ‘Isn’t it odd

That I cannot tell God

Save the Weasel from Pop Goes The Queen?’

carterbrandon - 11 Mar 2020 13:44:40 (#18 of 27)

And a favourite from a Guardian competition of way back, relating to the worlds top germophobe:

Friends of the great Donald Trump

Have to wait just a bit for a hump

The Donald's physician

Must concede permission

Before any fuzzes can bump

CarlosFandango - 12 Mar 2020 07:18:43 (#19 of 27)

#14 Yes, I'm afraid so. Years in the trenches of the limerick thread have left me permanently scarred.

I read yours and wept with unalloyed joy.

FleurDuMal - 12 Mar 2020 08:01:57 (#20 of 27)

I’ve never ventured into the limerick thread - is it worth a look?

Check Subscriptions
Home » The Haven