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Started by thismorning on May 21, 2020 1:07:21 AM
Social distancing rules for footie.

Major League Baseball has come up some new rules for when the season reopens. No spitting. Pitchers warming up must wear masks. No high fives.Etc. What about the Premier League?

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thismorning - 21 May 2020 01:10:28 (#1 of 14)

Oh, and no taking showers during game. And of course,no fans in stadiums. Like Goose Gossage said: itz like the game is being run by the Democrat Party. Should be fun. Play ball!

thismorning - 21 May 2020 01:11:46 (#2 of 14)

Will the goalie be allowed to touch the ball?

Moschops - 21 May 2020 06:43:29 (#3 of 14)

Why would anyone take a shower during a game?

browserbutton - 21 May 2020 06:48:23 (#4 of 14)

Is it like investors taking a bath?

thismorning - 21 May 2020 06:55:05 (#5 of 14)

Apparently the commissars of Baseball think it happens, or might happen. I know of no literature on the subject, no I took a shower with Ted Williams during game 3 of the World Series or that class of thing. But I found this information on the internet, so it must be true. Are football players never tempted to take a shower during a game? Something is very wrong somewhere.

thismorning - 21 May 2020 07:00:26 (#6 of 14)

I scored the winning goal after shampooing with Header and Shoulders, by Wayne Rooney.

ReverendBlueJeans - 21 May 2020 07:54:48 (#7 of 14)

First, it's 'fitba', not 'footy'.

Second, fitba/footy is more than 'the' premier League.

Thirdly, the solution is obvious: settle all leagues by playing them as Walking Football. No contact and quite different skillset, so entertainingly unpredictable.

thismorning - 21 May 2020 09:13:18 (#8 of 14)

Yellow or red card for coughing sneezing?

Agaliarept - 21 May 2020 09:16:09 (#9 of 14)

I scored the winning goal after shampooing with Header and Shoulders, by Wayne Rooney.

Joe Hart surely?

Will the goalie be allowed to touch the ball?

Only after someone brought in from Tesco 'disinfects' it with a jay cloth and water.

thismorning - 21 May 2020 09:24:39 (#10 of 14)

I think the public would accept that. I mean they seem to accept everything else that is clearly daft to the 10th power.

browserbutton - 21 May 2020 09:24:54 (#11 of 14)

Goose Gossage is a great name. I googled Goose, and apparently he was one of the baseball greats. His particular talent, and one that I'm sure was much appreciated by the rest of his team, was providing 'right hand relief'.

browserbutton - 21 May 2020 09:26:06 (#12 of 14)

Goose Gossage is a splendid name. I googled Goose, and apparently he was one of the baseball greats. His particular talent, and one that I'm sure was much appreciated by the rest of his team, was providing 'right hand relief'.

Note: He is not related to Goose Goslin, who was more of a left fielder.

uranrising - 21 May 2020 16:39:22 (#13 of 14)

Yellow or red card for coughing sneezing?

And banned for life for spitting.

thismorning - 23 May 2020 17:18:41 (#14 of 14)

Serge wheeled off in ventilator protesting he "fells fine". Referee awards penalty for"snitching". A thick cloud of Lysol spray issuing from stands halts play with 12 minutes left in the first half. 0-0, Spain enjoying a large time of possession exorcism.

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