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Started by Anchorman on Jan 17, 2021 8:36:31 PM
URGENT: I need a good joke. (part 2)
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Anchorman - 17 Jan 2021 20:38:20 (#1 of 423)

Carry on peeps.

Electro2 - 17 Jan 2021 20:40:06 (#2 of 423)

misosoup100 never told us what’s so URGENT: And why she needed a good joke. Right now.

Anchorman - 17 Jan 2021 20:43:01 (#3 of 423)

A heinous crime!

:)

solomongursky - 17 Jan 2021 20:45:31 (#4 of 423)

My wife thinks our love life has become boring and I’m easily distracted..



..oh well, better get back to it I suppose.

moto748 - 17 Jan 2021 20:47:39 (#5 of 423)

Arf!

thePiMan - 17 Jan 2021 20:48:36 (#6 of 423)

ThePiWoman left me because of my impatience and insecurity. Oh, no, it’s ok, she’s back.

SinnerBoy - 17 Jan 2021 20:51:54 (#7 of 423)

New thread, new recycled, recycled, recycled jokes!

thisonehasalittlehat - 17 Jan 2021 20:55:30 (#8 of 423)

What do you call a newt with no legs, no eyes, and no tail?

Douglas.

thePiMan - 17 Jan 2021 20:55:48 (#9 of 423)

Got a sweater for my birthday.

I really wanted a moaner or a screamer, but s/he is good with the kids.

FGBFGB - 17 Jan 2021 21:01:55 (#10 of 423)

Met my pal the other day, he was carrying an old car door around with him. "Why are you doing that?", I asked him. "Well" he said, "if I get hot I can wind the window down." Ithangyew.

solomongursky - 17 Jan 2021 21:05:42 (#11 of 423)

Went to a charity do at the local Bulimia Society the other night.

Place was heaving.

lammaMia - 17 Jan 2021 21:18:14 (#12 of 423)

After working very hard with a group of apes, their zookeepers seemed to have had success teaching them to read and write.

The apes began to make remarkable progress and the staff decided to use texts about animals from the gift shop to help advance the apes' reading abilities. One ape soared above the others, and one morning the zoo employee noticed he was reading Darwin. So he wrote a note to the ape asking how he liked Darwin. The ape ponderously wrote out a message and returned it to his feeder: "Am I my keeper's brother?"

TommyDGNR8 - 17 Jan 2021 21:33:20 (#13 of 423)

<uran laughs>

LardyStuffer - 18 Jan 2021 07:43:13 (#14 of 423)

Has anyone else tried the new 'Depeche' mode setting on Amazon? You get assigned your own Amazon employee to do your shopping for you. Guess what, I only got given the owner of Amazon himself. That's right, I've got my own, personal Bezos.

deadmanwalking23 - 18 Jan 2021 11:09:53 (#15 of 423)

How many conspiracy theorists does it take to change a light bulb?

Do your own research!

Seamonster - 18 Jan 2021 11:22:06 (#16 of 423)

Woke up the other morning and looked at the person sleeping next to me. Was so overcome that I had to lean across and kiss them.

So anyway now I can’t fly Qantas anymore.

pranzingfrogg - 18 Jan 2021 13:44:35 (#17 of 423)

#15

That’s what they want you to say

frantastic - 18 Jan 2021 14:31:36 (#18 of 423)

'They' don't want you to change the bulb. 'They' want to keep you in the dark.

Gotout - 19 Jan 2021 13:41:03 (#19 of 423)

It has been scientifically proven that horse manure protects you. Take the fresh horse manure and rub your hands with it. It has the following actions:

1. It prevents you from touching your nose, eyes, mouth.

2. People will keep at least 6 feet away from you

3. No one will want to shake your hand

4. You will safely wash your hands well before going to lunch.

downbuzz - 19 Jan 2021 13:43:38 (#20 of 423)

I get annoyed when journalists say that Harold Shipman was Britain's worse serial killer. He was clearly the best.

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