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Started by FleurDuMal on May 25, 2021 2:41:50 PM
Unfortunate things you would wish on members of the government.

Nothing that would get JtT into trouble, or be interpreted as a threat. Just things that would make people point and laugh or be a huge embarrassment to the person concerned.

Schadenfreude, rather than scorched-earth revenge please!

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Agaliarept - 25 May 2021 14:45:47 (#1 of 68)

I would love Boris to lose that stupid fucking hat he wears and see it replaced with seagull poo.

That sort of thing?

FleurDuMal - 25 May 2021 14:46:22 (#2 of 68)

Yep, spot on (literally).

FleurDuMal - 25 May 2021 14:47:02 (#3 of 68)

I'd also pick Johnson. I'd like him to have sudden, explosive diarrhoea, during PMQs.

thisonehasalittlehat - 25 May 2021 14:47:47 (#4 of 68)

I mean I suppose I'd wish they'd go away but that's about it.

FleurDuMal - 25 May 2021 14:50:50 (#5 of 68)

You're simply not trying hard enough.

TommyDGNR8 - 25 May 2021 14:53:19 (#6 of 68)

I look forward to the day Gove suction cups himself to the bathroom mirror when he's kissing himself goodnight.

OldLefty - 25 May 2021 14:53:20 (#7 of 68)

I suppose a simultaneous kecks falling down (as per Brian Rix) by the entire cabinet would be amusing.

Catspyjamas17 - 25 May 2021 14:54:21 (#8 of 68)

I'd like Matt Hancock to have his long awaited holiday/treat/get together cancelled the night before he goes. By Twitter.

GyratingTrampoline - 25 May 2021 14:56:16 (#9 of 68)

I'd like Priti Patel to see the error of her ways and stop being so fucking evil

browserbutton - 25 May 2021 14:57:00 (#10 of 68)

More of this sort of thing:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HAqyf7a4xFM

TauCeti - 25 May 2021 14:58:20 (#11 of 68)

I'd like to be able to see PP et al from a VERY LONG WAY AWAY Continental kind of thing.... ;o)

ReverendBlueJeans - 25 May 2021 14:58:30 (#12 of 68)

Moggo is subjected to a Hollywood-style body swap, waking to find himself the sole breadwinner in a chaotic, multi-generational family in a Coatbridge tower block. Bemused, he is ushered into his trackies and tap by his (pregnant again) partner and urged to go down to do another shift at Gerry's Hot Foam Hand Carwash and to get chips for the weans on the way hame.

Peacock - 25 May 2021 15:06:31 (#13 of 68)

The FM resident cat jumps on a bookshelf causing several copies of the encyclopedia britannica to fall on Dominic Raab`s head. WIN-WIN: Raab is smacked in the head but he learns something in the process

FleurDuMal - 25 May 2021 15:07:08 (#14 of 68)

And even if his brain got damaged, there'd be no discernible change to his competence.

TauCeti - 25 May 2021 15:07:51 (#15 of 68)

Does he have a brain?

FleurDuMal - 25 May 2021 15:08:38 (#16 of 68)

Hmmm.

GyratingTrampoline - 25 May 2021 15:08:43 (#17 of 68)

They all get voted out in the next GE. By which point labour will have a leftish leader again and we'll all get free broadband

ReverendBlueJeans - 25 May 2021 15:09:09 (#18 of 68)

Liz Truss goes off in search of More New Pork Markets.

Years later, one of her shoes is found in a corner of a free range wild boar farm in Norfolk.

ReverendBlueJeans - 25 May 2021 15:11:19 (#19 of 68)

2030 - Bungling Bonzo, near bankrupted by the divorce settlement with Carrie and now being actively avoided by his ex-Eton contacts, goes to the PM and says, 'Look here, Sir Keir, you're a pretty straight sort of chap. Gissa job.'

He is appointed English ambassador in Edinburgh.

TauCeti - 25 May 2021 15:13:55 (#20 of 68)

I'd like to see any of them queueing at the job centre to share a machine for job search, then getting sanctioned for some made up reason. I know it sounds horribly harsh....

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