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Started by AppleCatcher on Aug 12, 2021 12:25:55 PM
Bleepy appliances

They never stop. The diswasher goes BEEP BEEP BEEEP (silence) BEEEEEP. The fridge complains loudly if you spend more than 1/2 a second trying to find something inside.

The washing machine. The bloody washing machine sings twelve fucking bars of the Schubert's schöne Müllerin when it's done. And the coffee machine! Passive aggressive little twat.

Talk about your appliance woes here.

Verdigris - 12 Aug 2021 15:29:40 (#41 of 112)

The microwave though. It beeps 5 times. Not 4 or 8, a nice round number.



I've never counted the beeps on the Panasonic combi-oven. Does it have differing beep counts for different modes? There's only one way to find out...

Verdigris - 12 Aug 2021 15:32:07 (#42 of 112)

Five.

moto748 - 12 Aug 2021 16:45:15 (#43 of 112)

I abandoned washing machines about fifteen years ago and I've never looked back.

Also,

I refuse to talk TO appliances unless...

This. But unless nothing.

tasselhoff - 12 Aug 2021 16:49:18 (#44 of 112)

Unless they get angry

fogsake - 12 Aug 2021 16:52:04 (#45 of 112)

American stuff is communicative.

Lived for years in a tiny apartment with a microwave that dings one time like a Chinese bike bell to remind me it is done. That's it. No idea what my washing machine does. It's in a waschkeller and I never felt like hanging out.

Didn't realise houses had got so bleepy.

Tenesmus - 12 Aug 2021 15:55:51 (#46 of 112)

The breadmaker emits three long beeps at the end.

Verdigris - 12 Aug 2021 15:59:50 (#47 of 112)

Lidl?

fogsake - 12 Aug 2021 17:04:21 (#48 of 112)

Who forgets they put the coffee on in the morning?

Assisted living time.

wickeltisch - 12 Aug 2021 17:11:04 (#49 of 112)

I abandoned washing machines about fifteen years ago

<wonders if there is a shelter for abandoned washing machines>

tasselhoff - 12 Aug 2021 17:11:38 (#50 of 112)

RSPCWM

AppleCatcher - 12 Aug 2021 16:12:34 (#51 of 112)

The Royal Society for the Protection of Commercial Washing Machines?

fogsake - 12 Aug 2021 17:24:09 (#52 of 112)

Whoever designed our dryer was daydreaming about an old school Star Trek ICU.

browserbutton - 12 Aug 2021 17:47:00 (#53 of 112)

We have a Neff induction hob which bleeps furiously if you put anything down on it that it doesn't like. This is accompanied by blinking red lights. Annoying.

AppleCatcher - 12 Aug 2021 16:49:55 (#54 of 112)

Oh yes. The induction plate is a whingey twat.

Ginmonkey - 12 Aug 2021 18:13:22 (#55 of 112)

My work Surface Pro is always making various pinging noises. At least I can mute that.

moto748 - 12 Aug 2021 18:48:28 (#56 of 112)

Ah. At first I was thinking that must be some sort of chopping board...

Ginmonkey - 12 Aug 2021 18:55:25 (#57 of 112)

No, a stupid little tablet/laptop hybrid with short battery life and a keyboard that detaches itself at inopportune moments.

carterbrandon - 12 Aug 2021 21:26:22 (#58 of 112)

Ray Bradbury wrote "The Murderer" about someone who decided to 'murder' all the annoying beepy things in his smart home. In entertaining ways. It contains a pitch-perfect mockery of a busload of people having stupid conversations about where the bus is on its route into their Apple Watches.

Written in 1952

http://www.sediment.uni-goettingen.de/staff/dunkl/zips/The-Murderer.pdf

Cavewoman - 12 Aug 2021 22:18:13 (#59 of 112)

My cooker is bluetooth-enabled, FFS. The timer on it (the emission from which of a timely ping or two would be welcome could I persuade it to function) is so complicated that I've failed to understand it for two years and instead use a wind-up clockwork one.

Verdigris - 12 Aug 2021 21:23:14 (#60 of 112)

Sounds like the timer on my boiler. Even with the instruction book I couldn't figure it out. The plumber says he doesn't know anyone who has sussed it, either.

I just turn it off with the mains switch when heat and/or hot water are not required.

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