No smilies, no avatars, no flashing gifs. Just discuss the issues of the day, from last night's telly via football to science or philosophy.
Started by AppleCatcher on Aug 12, 2021 12:25:55 PM
Bleepy appliances

They never stop. The diswasher goes BEEP BEEP BEEEP (silence) BEEEEEP. The fridge complains loudly if you spend more than 1/2 a second trying to find something inside.

The washing machine. The bloody washing machine sings twelve fucking bars of the Schubert's schöne Müllerin when it's done. And the coffee machine! Passive aggressive little twat.

Talk about your appliance woes here.

OldLefty - 13 Aug 2021 17:57:29 (#81 of 112)


My first encounter with one of those was around 1980 with a factory pool car. I got the keys from the security booth then started to do a 3-point turn to get out of the gate. I was broadside across the main road to goods inward, with the driver of a stonking great lorry trying to make a delivery glaring at me. I had to go back to the security booth and ask them how to get the thing to reverse.

mingmong - 13 Aug 2021 18:55:28 (#82 of 112)

#80, thanks, but I still don't see what unique and indispensible benefit WhatsApp would bring to my life. I get that a lot of people use it and like, and there's nothing wrong with that. But I already waste enough time on this place and on FB. Time and effort is probably the greater limiting factor, more so than bleepiness

bossab2 - 13 Aug 2021 19:38:31 (#83 of 112)

but I still don't see what unique and indispensible benefit WhatsApp would bring to my life.

You can tell your mates to use it for sending out gifs of kittens, rather than shitting up your email account.

And then turn off the notifications sound so that you can ignore the inane chatter.

thatshallot - 13 Aug 2021 18:43:39 (#84 of 112)

The dishwasher has an unobtrusive beep when it finishes and while it's on a little beam of red light shines on the floor to tell you that it is working and for teeny tiny aliens to aim their teleporter just for the hell of it.

The washing machine could learn a lot from that dishwasher.

bossab2 - 13 Aug 2021 19:46:16 (#85 of 112)

I'm noticing that electric cars make loud beeping sounds when they park.

A IC engine is much less annoying.

Verdigris - 13 Aug 2021 18:46:57 (#86 of 112)

Certainly less annoying than you.

Ginmonkey - 13 Aug 2021 19:47:27 (#87 of 112)

#78 mute your phone like every normal person.

carterbrandon - 13 Aug 2021 21:57:13 (#88 of 112)

I had to go back to the security booth and ask them how to get the thing to reverse.

To this day I don't know why I didn't just get the manual out of the glovebox and look it up. Especially as I write the damn things for a living.

bossab2 - 13 Aug 2021 22:19:44 (#89 of 112)

The trouble with car manuals is that they contain all the info on the Super Delux model gadgets which - as you have the cheap version, even if you go hunting for them you wont find them.

JennyRad - 13 Aug 2021 21:24:02 (#90 of 112)

Or, when it's a hire car, it can be in a language you don't understand the nuances of. (The first time I hired a car abroad, I panicked completely when the tank was running empty because I had no idea whether I needed diesel or petrol and I certainly couldn't work it out from the manual in my almost-non-existent Greek. Luckily I was at a Linux event at which there were some locals who were able to help me out - and it turns out they don't even have diesel cars.)

TheExcession - 14 Aug 2021 00:05:11 (#91 of 112)

#89 This. Half the fucking manual is usually taken up with shit you'll never use on features on the in car entertainment system you don't have. But the stuff you actually need to drive the thing beyond the basic controls or do basic maintenance is more of a footnote.

Loogoo - 14 Aug 2021 00:41:07 (#92 of 112)

Everything beeps... so much so I beep after folding the laundry.. and I beep really loud if there is pile needing folding..

bossab2 - 14 Aug 2021 07:36:58 (#93 of 112)

Douglas Adams of course predicted all this in the 70s

As the door closed behind them it became apparent that it did indeed have a satisfied sigh-like quality to it. “Hummmmmmmyummmmmmm ah!” it said.

wickeltisch - 14 Aug 2021 08:37:19 (#94 of 112)

I write the damn things for a living

<Remembers incomprehensible manuals. Glowers at cb>

carterbrandon - 14 Aug 2021 09:46:51 (#95 of 112)

Not mine - I have copious trade press reviews to prove it, luvvie.

carterbrandon - 14 Aug 2021 10:19:47 (#96 of 112)

Sometimes there are obscure menu options to turn beepings off. My microwave has that. Certainly worth a look, if you are very beep-averse.

bossab2 - 14 Aug 2021 10:26:54 (#97 of 112)

Tsk. I want beep 'options'

carterbrandon - 14 Aug 2021 10:30:17 (#98 of 112)

Think of default beeping as a positive choice to improve and normalise accessibility, and give thanks you have all your senses.

OldLefty - 14 Aug 2021 11:15:07 (#99 of 112)

I remember ICL manuals. Usually if you knew enough about whatever you wanted to do to understand the relevant manual section, you wouldn't need to look it up in the manual.

thePiMan - 20 Aug 2021 08:25:35 (#100 of 112)

What sort of monster puts the chocolate in the fridge anyway?

The sort of monster who doesn't have a freezer.

Check Subscriptions
Home » The Haven