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Started by Bellycat on 15-Mar-2011 09:25:44
Happy in my GAAAAAHHHHHden

bitch and whine here

Bellycat - 15 Mar 2011 09:27:19 (#1 of 5923)

This morning I went into the coffee shop opposite the office and saw this sign next to the till:

"Sorry we have no panini's to make chabatta's"

I cannot go there anymore in the face of such ignorance

lapsedcat - 15 Mar 2011 09:27:53 (#2 of 5923)

Pregnant woman rubbing her belly constantly within my line of vision. I don't know why it irritates me but it does.

lapsedcat - 15 Mar 2011 14:28:38 (#3 of 5923)

Someone asked me for my opinion of his best man speech. He has to deliver it on Saturday at the wedding of his friend and is bloody nervous. Reading the text he is right to be nervous. I tried to employ tact and delicately suggested that he might want to trim it somewhat, and excise some of the more ponderous "gags" - as I said to him, "People are going there expecting to see a wedding, not a funeral. With this sort of material you're going to die."

Sample quote: "To say that [the groom] has never been able to cook is correct, and I remember when he made me breakfast one morning in 1994 and put milk on the toast and butter on the cornflakes!"

lapsedcat - 17 Mar 2011 10:07:58 (#4 of 5923)

I've been told that I have to do something funny tomorrow. For Comic Relief.

They obviously don't know me very well.

lapsedcat - 17 Mar 2011 10:15:44 (#5 of 5923)

Some ideas for what I can do tomorrow for Comic Relief:

a) dress up as a parking meter and invite people to insert 50p in my slot

b) dress up as a 50p and invite people to try and insert me in a parking meter

c) Insert a 50p piece into a parking meter slot.

I think (c) is probably the most amusing.

NotACloggie - 17 Mar 2011 10:32:25 (#6 of 5923)

Admit it, you just love Comic Relief, lapsed.

I think you should go for option (a).

lapsedcat - 17 Mar 2011 10:38:30 (#7 of 5923)

I'm going to dust off my Harry Herpes costume from when I used to promote the STD Awareness Society.

NotACloggie - 17 Mar 2011 10:51:33 (#8 of 5923)

You'll knock 'em dead, I'm sure of it.

carterbrandon - 17 Mar 2011 20:55:20 (#9 of 5923)

You want Gah!? I'll give you Gah.

I've just read they are currently filming more "Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps".

Bellycat - 18 Mar 2011 10:03:12 (#10 of 5923)

fucking hell

lapsedcat - 18 Mar 2011 10:30:12 (#11 of 5923)

Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps: in the pantheon of great British sitcoms with foods in the title it ranks well below Porridge, One Foot in the Gravy and even Bread. It is languishing at the bottom of the heap alongside Honey For Tea, My Aero and Pardon My Pineapple

culder - 18 Mar 2011 12:02:44 (#12 of 5923)

Found you at last!

"Sorry we have no panini's to make chabatta's"


Lapsed, when I was on holiday last year, there was a party of people there for a wedding. One day, at the pool bar, the guy on the next table asked if he could borrow my biro (I was writing postcards). He needed to write his 'father of the bride' speech - for the next day! Talk about leaving it 'til the last minute...

Anyway, gah! I keep clicking on Previous instead of Next, because it's where More used to be.

Leftie - 19 Mar 2011 15:18:37 (#13 of 5923)

Fucking Argos. I ordered a new fire on their website and it doesn't let you arrange delivery on there. I got a message saying they would phone on 23rd March to arrange delivery. They phoned today and there wasn't a suitable date available. I need it on a Saturday. And then the woman went away and suddenly found a Saturday date but she's not sure which Saturday so they are going to phone back again.

Thank God the weather is getting a bit warmer.

culder - 19 Mar 2011 17:22:56 (#14 of 5923)

Good grief.

blackthunder - 19 Mar 2011 19:23:21 (#15 of 5923)

fucking cammomile teabags in miserable istanbul hotels. I made tea so I could go to bed with it and watch the woeful news of meltdown and Gaddaffi but the teabag burst and there are no more in the pitiful pile next to the cup that did not get washed. I've a good mind to drink the mini bar dry- that would learn them.

blackthunder - 19 Mar 2011 19:23:54 (#16 of 5923)

And its fucking snowing here.

blackthunder - 19 Mar 2011 19:24:34 (#17 of 5923)


feeling grumpy.

MrsTeaTime - 21 Mar 2011 13:55:25 (#18 of 5923)


rafibrown - 21 Mar 2011 19:48:07 (#19 of 5923)

I just read that Knut (the famous Berlin Zoo polar bear) died. And then I was stupid enough to watch the video of it.

Post deleted by NOTtheTalk
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