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Started by TheVoiceOfReason on Dec 6, 2018 7:34:59 PM
Fury as Mars mission to be LADIES ONLY...to prevent any HANKY PANKY in space

While several NASA missions have involved mixed crews, a secret report by the space agency suggests that missions to Mars could be LADIES ONLY. NASA has filed a report that warns that male and female astronauts could get FRISKY during the one and a half year journey to the red planet.

Asked about the possibility that the all-girl crew could turn LESBIAN out of frustration during the long trip, NASA sources said that they were sure none would apply.

https://tribune.com.pk/story/1519454/mars-missions-may-female-avoid-astronauts-sex-1-5-year-journey/

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DesEsseintes - 07 Dec 2018 01:30:39 (#1 of 79)

I thought men was Mars and women was Venus etc etc

TigerPaws - 07 Dec 2018 03:40:06 (#2 of 79)

They need to get the journey time down to under six months. Until then send robots to prepare the planet for human habitation.

Anything else is vanity.

TheSwearingBear - 07 Dec 2018 03:45:21 (#3 of 79)

I wonder if anyone's joined the hundred mile high club yet?

virgil5 - 07 Dec 2018 04:10:26 (#4 of 79)

A child born in space would not be subject to Earth law, so could return to conquer the planet.

brooklyn - 07 Dec 2018 04:18:23 (#5 of 79)

you only say that because you think the rule might apply to you.

virgil5 - 07 Dec 2018 04:24:57 (#6 of 79)

It's not about me, it's about jurisdiction.

thismorning - 07 Dec 2018 05:01:46 (#7 of 79)

Did Super Man and Lois Lane ever get it on? I mean he was from I forget which planet far far away. Perhaps the same planet as Donald trump.

virgil5 - 07 Dec 2018 05:22:07 (#8 of 79)

Lois Lane went into rehab after doing a couple of years in the Martha Stewart insider trading sweep.

Superman got into therapy drumming with Al Gore for awhile, then dropped out of sight.

col2001 - 07 Dec 2018 07:09:10 (#9 of 79)

#4 Illegal aliens!

Build The Roof!

thisonehasalittlehat - 07 Dec 2018 07:42:32 (#10 of 79)

They need to get the journey time down to under six months. Until then send robots to prepare the planet for human habitation.

How they going to do that? Move Mars?

It takes as long as it does because of planetary alignment.

thismorning - 07 Dec 2018 08:12:35 (#11 of 79)

Will Mars join the EU, or make trouble? I hope the colonists "are the right sort". No gammons or Lib Dems or...right wing nutjobs basically. Perthapslapsed could advise with a word in the right place.

bailliegillies - 07 Dec 2018 10:50:41 (#12 of 79)

They could put bromide into the water to stop them getting frisky on a mixed voyage.

virgil5 - 07 Dec 2018 10:56:08 (#13 of 79)

If they don't join the EU, they'll be doomed too, so there's the doom quotient going WAY UP

DOOMED I TELL YA

TheExcession - 07 Dec 2018 10:59:00 (#14 of 79)

Just as long as they don't have to reverse park the spaceship. Eh lads? Eh? Eh lads?

(Disappears under hail of rotten vegetables, half bricks, grenades etc.)

solomongursky - 07 Dec 2018 10:59:42 (#15 of 79)

It takes as long as it does because of planetary alignment.

And of course once the female astronauts are free from lunar pull their periods will stop.

SinnerBoy - 07 Dec 2018 12:14:59 (#16 of 79)

TheExcession -

Just as long as they don't have to reverse park the spaceship. Eh lads? Eh? Eh lads?

Send my wife, she can get into spaces with 6'' clearance at either end!

HollyAndTheArriveAlIvy - 07 Dec 2018 12:18:15 (#17 of 79)

with 6'' clearance at either end!

That's pretty impressive given how short a length you've convinced her 6" is...

Dayraven - 07 Dec 2018 12:22:02 (#18 of 79)

And of course once the female astronauts are free from lunar pull their periods will stop.

Phobos has a 7-hour orbit, so this won't end well.

Gotout - 07 Dec 2018 12:23:07 (#19 of 79)

Send my wife, she can get into spaces with 6'' clearance at either end!

Is the car a foot shorter at either end afterwards though?

SinnerBoy - 07 Dec 2018 13:24:05 (#20 of 79)

No, Gotout, it's not.

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