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Started by DesEsseintes on Jan 9, 2019 9:26:46 AM
Birmingham City Council spends £1m on 'pauper funerals'

Has to be done, as things are, and it's not a large amount of money, really. The question would be whether there's a better way of doing these things as a whole? Whether there should be some kind of NHS like national funeral service for everyone?

Agaliarept - 09 Jan 2019 10:25:44 (#1 of 77)

Whether there should be some kind of NHS like national funeral service for everyone?

The problem there is funerals are so pointlessly expensive even those who could afford to pay would probably want to use the service.

It would soon become a massive expense to the government.

Delighted_User - 09 Jan 2019 11:38:34 (#2 of 77)

Surely funerals are pointlessly expensive because people want to show how much they loved the deceased by spending a fortune, or are guilt-tripped by funeral directors into doing so. That sort isn't going to want the equivalent of an NHS funeral. But if you don't need the bullshit, they don't have to be particularly dear.

mememe - 09 Jan 2019 11:40:24 (#3 of 77)

You've got to have those flower letters on the hearse if you want to show you're really bereaved when someone 'passes'.

HouseOfLametta - 09 Jan 2019 11:43:10 (#4 of 77)

Funerals are expensive partly because of embalming, which these days is surely unnecessary, and frankly, a bit weird.

CaptainBlack - 09 Jan 2019 11:43:22 (#5 of 77)

Fuck it, take me out to sea and feed me to the fishes.

HouseOfLametta - 09 Jan 2019 11:44:26 (#6 of 77)

Hang me up for the bluetits!

cozzer - 09 Jan 2019 12:24:42 (#7 of 77)

- for

+ by

bossab2 - 09 Jan 2019 12:54:16 (#8 of 77)

I presume the crematoria are run by the council anyway ?

TheVoiceOfReason - 09 Jan 2019 12:59:49 (#9 of 77)

EastEnders recently featured a pauper’s funeral. Assuming they’d done their research, it didn’t sound great. Automatic cremation on a day not of your choosing and no relatives allowed to attend. Can’t remember if you even got the ashes back. £8m sounds like a lot of paupers in Brum.

frantastic - 09 Jan 2019 13:00:15 (#10 of 77)

Do these people not have patios?

CarlosFandango - 09 Jan 2019 13:08:49 (#11 of 77)

I've buried two bodies.

Total cost for the burial part was about 800 quid for the first and a bit more for the second.

The first time we had to buy spades. Second time we just happened to have a digger nearby, but we went for wicker coffin instead of cardboard.

I haven't accounted for beers, wine, pork pies and whatnot.

Moschops - 09 Jan 2019 13:14:25 (#12 of 77)

You should buy a secondhand JCB and undercut the council

Jacob_Richter - 09 Jan 2019 13:16:07 (#13 of 77)

Better still, you can hire a gang of illegal Albanian immigrants.

Jacob_Richter - 09 Jan 2019 13:20:28 (#14 of 77)

And make them buy their own spades.


Moschops - 09 Jan 2019 13:21:49 (#15 of 77)

Yeah, write an app that alerts them to graves needing digging. That way they are self employed and you don't have to worry about their rights

CarlosFandango - 09 Jan 2019 13:51:57 (#16 of 77)

Tradename: Under

Get the app!

airynothing - 09 Jan 2019 14:02:16 (#17 of 77)


FleurDuMal - 09 Jan 2019 14:02:36 (#18 of 77)

Fuck it, take me out to sea and feed me to the fishes.

That's my thought too. I don't mind leaving some loot for my rellies to have a massive piss-up, but paying a fortune for a coffin and flowers is just daft.

Jacob_Richter - 09 Jan 2019 14:07:40 (#19 of 77)

#14 #15 #16

Britain is open for Business.

CarlosFandango - 09 Jan 2019 14:08:57 (#20 of 77)

Yep. Ground-breaking ceremonies every day of the week.

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