No smilies, no avatars, no flashing gifs. Just discuss the issues of the day, from last night's telly via football to science or philosophy.
Started by bailliegillies on May 13, 2019 1:00:35 PM
Funeral provider Dignity warns fall in deaths will hit profits

A significant fall in the number of people dying in the UK during a mild winter has forced one of Britain’s biggest undertakers to issue a profit warning.

https://www.theguardian.com/business/2019/may/13/f
uneral-provider-dignity-warns-fall-in-number-of-deaths-will-hit-profits

Previous
|
Next
|
Top
|
Bottom
bailliegillies - 13 May 2019 13:02:09 (#1 of 28)

Dignity, the UK’s only funeral services company that is listed on the stock market, said the number of deaths in the 13 weeks to 29 March had fallen by 12% to 159,000. This led to a 15% drop in revenues to £81.1m and dragged underlying operating profit down by 42% to £21.7m.

widenation - 13 May 2019 13:04:07 (#2 of 28)

I assume they're an "Investor in People"?

FleurDuMal - 13 May 2019 13:06:23 (#3 of 28)

Might we expect a Burke and Hare scenario?

thisonehasalittlehat - 13 May 2019 13:07:22 (#4 of 28)

Sure Tories will address this important problem.

Lawlsie - 13 May 2019 13:08:08 (#5 of 28)

- 10 points

FleurDuMal - 13 May 2019 13:08:25 (#6 of 28)

Sure Tories will address this important problem.

Via their electorate, I imagine.

bossab2 - 14 May 2019 13:55:41 (#7 of 28)

I note the rise in the number of "no frills" cremations

The body collected by a white van man, and the remains returned by Amazon.

GyratingTrampoline - 14 May 2019 13:57:27 (#8 of 28)

With tangential relevance I just walked past a small indy funeral director and they had a handwritten sign outside proclaiming "dying awareness week"

LemonGrass - 14 May 2019 13:58:05 (#9 of 28)

?

bossab2 - 14 May 2019 13:59:21 (#10 of 28)

BYGOF funerals.

why not bring a friend ?

WibbleAgain - 14 May 2019 13:59:42 (#11 of 28)

https://www.awarenessdays.com/awareness-days-calendar/dying-matters-week-2019/

JohnIlly - 14 May 2019 14:01:35 (#12 of 28)

Who could argue with a statement like "dying matters"?

machiavelli - 14 May 2019 14:08:20 (#13 of 28)

A significant fall in the number of people dying in the UK during a mild winter has forced one of Britain’s biggest undertakers to issue a profit warning.

Looks like investing in them is just dead money.

bossab2 - 14 May 2019 14:10:00 (#14 of 28)

More of them left to die next winter however.

a good time to buy shares therefore...

JohnIlly - 14 May 2019 14:13:31 (#15 of 28)

Since everyone has a 100% chance of dying, their profits will eventually recover.

TheSwearingBear - 14 May 2019 14:20:10 (#16 of 28)

So dignified.

machiavelli - 14 May 2019 14:21:44 (#17 of 28)

It's like chucking money down a hole or sending it up the chimney.

Agaliarept - 14 May 2019 14:27:23 (#18 of 28)

It's like chucking money down a hole or sending it up the chimney.

I had planned to go to India and be chopped up for the vultures but they're dying out due to all the pharmaceuticals in people's bodies wen they die.

Might just ask the Mrs to chop me up and leave me in the garden for the foxes.

machiavelli - 14 May 2019 14:29:24 (#19 of 28)

They could branch into into couples funerals - His and Hearse.

SatelliteOne - 15 May 2019 03:29:29 (#20 of 28)

This is grave news

Previous
|
Next
|
Top
|
Bottom
Check Subscriptions
|
Home » UK News