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Started by TheVoiceOfReason on May 15, 2019 8:57:51 AM
Outrage as now your sausages will be SQUARE

Aldi has started flogging SQUARE sausages. The patty-shaped pork has been designed to fit perfectly into sandwiches. This allows hungry customers to throw together a butty without spending ages cutting up bangers.

Customers reacted with outrage to the bizarre reshaping of Britain’s favourite dish. “This is why I voted Leave,” said Joyce Henderson, 57, of Goole, Yorks. “I don’t want these German supermarkets telling me what the shape of my sausage should be. Why did we fight them on the beaches?”

mememe - 15 May 2019 08:58:47 (#1 of 67)

Great stuff. Perfect for an egg and sausage notMcMuffin.

Gotout - 15 May 2019 08:58:53 (#2 of 67)

Iceland have been selling Lorne sausage for years....

Tomnoddy - 15 May 2019 08:59:18 (#3 of 67)

Lorne, or square, sausage is one of Scotland's national dishes.

bignosebignose - 15 May 2019 09:05:54 (#4 of 67)

This allows hungry customers to throw together a butty without spending ages cutting up bangers.

That's an absolutely ace non-made-up line from the report. Conjures up images of the sausage-sarnie fans on the verge of starvation at the delay in getting their food into their faces.

WibbleAgain - 15 May 2019 09:06:47 (#5 of 67)

That looks like spam. Why not just use spam if you want square slices of sludge?

mememe - 15 May 2019 09:07:09 (#6 of 67)

Because it's not the same, clearly.

bignosebignose - 15 May 2019 09:07:34 (#7 of 67)

Also Lorne sausages ming. They're not just a different shape, they're a different thing altogether.

Tomnoddy - 15 May 2019 09:10:33 (#8 of 67)

Sacrilege! Burn the heretic!!

dottie30 - 15 May 2019 09:14:34 (#9 of 67)

Sounds great. One of the annoying things about cooking sausages is they don't stay in one position because they are round and it's difficult to cook them evenly.

TommyDGNR8 - 15 May 2019 09:21:47 (#10 of 67)

Bangers SHOULDN'T be cooked evenly - they should be slightly singed on two sides and virtually raw on two.

Iceland's lorne sausage is vile. There are no chain outlets for proper lorne sausage south of the border.

Gotout - 15 May 2019 09:27:32 (#11 of 67)

#5 Fried Spam tastes quite different to Lorne sausage. Bacon Grill is more like Lorne sausage but doesn't quite have the same taste.

GyratingTrampoline - 15 May 2019 09:28:04 (#12 of 67)

they don't stay in one position because they are round and it's difficult to cook them evenly

Not only that but they are inefficient to transport and store because of the air gaps

WibbleAgain - 15 May 2019 09:29:13 (#13 of 67)

Of course all sludge don't taste the same. They use different scrapings and flavourings.

champagnerocker - 15 May 2019 09:29:18 (#14 of 67)

If you fry sausages then it is indeed a pain to do them evenly. It is much easier if they are on a grill.

Gotout - 15 May 2019 09:30:11 (#15 of 67)

Tomnoddy, I'm doing the North Coast 500 later this year. Can you recommend the best place on that route to get decent Lorne sausage?

browserbutton - 15 May 2019 09:30:33 (#16 of 67)

These 'German squarehead' sausages are in fact made with 100% British pork reared by furious red-faced Tory farmers.

HouseOfLametta - 15 May 2019 09:31:55 (#17 of 67)

Eye ‘oles, ear ‘oles and arse ‘oles.

Oh that’s rissoles isn’t it?

WibbleAgain - 15 May 2019 09:32:58 (#18 of 67)

Bloody Germans.

Coming over here, adapting to our British taste, using our British pork, exploiting our red faced British pig farmers, and outraging our red faced customers.

FleurDuMal - 15 May 2019 09:33:22 (#19 of 67)

I thought square sausages were a delicacy of ThatScotland?

xDiggy - 15 May 2019 09:34:31 (#20 of 67)

I'll tell you what is outrageous about ze Germans. The Sausage McMuffin appears to have been deprecated from the menu in favour of a 'Beef McMuffin' - aka, a hamburger. I'm voting OUT.

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