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Started by TheVoiceOfReason on Oct 16, 2020 9:14:21 AM
Fears as coronavirus vaccine may turn people into MONKEYS

Alarming new claims emerged today that the Oxford University Covid vaccine could turn people into MONKEYS. The Oxford vaccine uses a chimpanzee virus as a vector, which Russian news sources say may take over a subject’s DNA.

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/12942994/russian-fake-news-covid-vaccine-monkeys/amp/

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FleurDuMal - 16 Oct 2020 09:21:20 (#1 of 48)

Looking at some of the tweets from anti-vaxers, chimpanzee DNA would probably boost their IQ by several points.

GyratingTrampoline - 16 Oct 2020 09:23:33 (#2 of 48)

Chimpanzees aren't monkeys because they don't have tails. I blame nintendo

MrPurple - 16 Oct 2020 09:24:06 (#3 of 48)

ook?

InternationalVicar - 16 Oct 2020 09:25:37 (#4 of 48)

ook, indeed my friend.

Squirrels are monkeys becasue they have tails, especially squirrel monkeys.

Anyone NOT wanting chimp DNA will have to hand back 96% of their own.

The journalists at RT and the Sun going to have red faces when they find out.

Ginmonkey - 16 Oct 2020 09:25:39 (#5 of 48)

I felt sorry for the very eminent Oxford University professor who had to go on to the radio this morning to explain that no, the vaccine will not turn people in to monkeys. And chimpanzees are not monkeys.

HouseOfLametta - 16 Oct 2020 09:26:34 (#6 of 48)

The red faces will go with their blue arses.

Yersinia - 16 Oct 2020 09:29:22 (#7 of 48)

Cladistically, chimpanzees are monkeys, and so are we.

browserbutton - 16 Oct 2020 09:31:02 (#8 of 48)

'Russia wants to sell its own Putin-backed Sputnik V vaccine'

Aha -- little sputnik guy. Make dodgy vaccine in greater amount!

machiavelli - 16 Oct 2020 09:34:19 (#9 of 48)

Boris Johnson. How long will John Bull allow this absurd monkey to dance on his chest?

Kucinghitam - 16 Oct 2020 09:35:19 (#10 of 48)

Human stupidity is eternal.

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/d
6/The_cow_pock.jpg

InternationalVicar - 16 Oct 2020 09:35:34 (#11 of 48)

Cladistically, chimpanzees are monkeys, and so are we.

Only when cladisticians party, otherwise it's mainly anthropoid gags

elderberry - 16 Oct 2020 09:41:11 (#12 of 48)

Sounds like the start point for a classic 'Brannon Braga doesn't understand evolution' Star Trek episode.

Catspyjamas17 - 16 Oct 2020 09:43:58 (#13 of 48)

The Oxford vaccine uses a chimpanzee virus as a vector, which Russian news sources say may take over a subject’s DNA.

Who oo oo ooo aah aah aah suggested that? It's enough to make you hoooooooaaaaaaa oooooooooooop.

Tylenol - 16 Oct 2020 09:47:43 (#14 of 48)

Cladhistically, chimpanzees are monkeys, and so are we.

I'd say 'monkeys' was a paraphyletic term. Chimps are primates but not monkeys.

HouseOfLametta - 16 Oct 2020 09:52:06 (#15 of 48)

Does the virus make you a bat, then?

Because that would be COOL.

Ginmonkey - 16 Oct 2020 09:52:42 (#16 of 48)

BAT!

FrankieTeardrop - 16 Oct 2020 10:02:57 (#17 of 48)

Because that would be COOL.


You could join the Drak Pack

raymie - 16 Oct 2020 10:12:13 (#18 of 48)

such is evolotion

FrankieTeardrop - 16 Oct 2020 10:17:57 (#19 of 48)

Evolution? I thought God, in his infinite wisdom and compassion, created SARS-CoV-2

monkeymadchick - 16 Oct 2020 10:19:02 (#20 of 48)

I’m okay with this.

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