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Started by WibbleAgain on Jun 10, 2021 10:59:46 AM
Sexual harassment is a routine part of life, schoolchildren tell Ofsted
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Agaliarept - 10 Jun 2021 11:39:17 (#1 of 47)

What can we do about it?

I constantly remind my young 'uns that contact has to be invited but they're still a bit young to grasp the wider context.

So it's more about an action. You don't touch people unless they ask you to or you ask first. You don't have to touch anyone you don't want to. You must tell an adult if you see someone touching someone and the person is asking them to stop.

There's not much else at this point in their lives but I'm hoping to bring them up to really look down on people who harass women and girls.

On the link, it's heart breaking. I try not to dwell on the world my girls are going into. At only 3 I hope things change before they get too aware.

WibbleAgain - 10 Jun 2021 11:43:46 (#2 of 47)

Sexual harassment isn't just about touching though. What's really disturbing is the prevalence of sending porn stuff on phones.

That and the rest is so prevalent that school girls don't think it's worth reporting. It is shocking. How has it come about?

Agaliarept - 10 Jun 2021 11:46:13 (#3 of 47)

Sexual harassment isn't just about touching though. What's really disturbing is the prevalence of sending porn stuff on phones.

No I recognise that but my oldest boy is 8 so none of his friends have phones yet.

I know it's just over the hill though and be sure Mrs Aga and I are discussing what we need to do.

girls don't think it's worth reporting.

Well we know why, because their complaints aren't taken seriously. If no one is punished what's the point in reporting it - I imagine is their position.

FrankieTeardrop - 10 Jun 2021 12:42:01 (#4 of 47)

This campaign is worth supporting:

https://www.ourstreetsnow.org/our-streets

Kucinghitam - 10 Jun 2021 12:59:39 (#5 of 47)

It's really awful Wibble, breaks my heart to think that my daughters will soon be facing things like this.

Catspyjamas17 - 10 Jun 2021 13:03:28 (#6 of 47)

How has it come about?

I didn't think it was worth reporting at school thirty years ago. And it wasn't worth reporting then as nothing would have been done. So it's not necessarily that this situation has "come about" recently but that very little seems to have changed.

Dayraven - 10 Jun 2021 13:04:19 (#7 of 47)

That and the rest is so prevalent that school girls don't think it's worth reporting.

The social-media elements (which aren't all of it) are something that a lot of current teachers won't have grown up with, which doesn't help in grasping the problem.

Kucinghitam - 10 Jun 2021 13:07:59 (#8 of 47)

I agree that the underlying conditions are long-standing, c.f. the recent study that 98% of women have experienced sexual harassment, to which almost all women went "were the other 2% in a coma"? The recent escalations are due to social media, online porn (which is violently misogynistic), smartphones, etc.

Catspyjamas17 - 10 Jun 2021 13:14:27 (#9 of 47)

I think what we, or schools can do about it is show zero tolerance of anything going on at school and exclude the perpetrators. I know that teachers heard boys calling me a slag and saw them pinging bra straps and turned a blind eye to it, and if they had done something with that then maybe I'd have felt also able to tell them about that stuff they didn't see- someone grabbing my breasts in the corridor or my arse on the school bus.

Also you can have a talk with your children that it isn't acceptable. There was so much of it in TV and film I just thought at the time it was normal, and perhaps it was good as it meant I was attractive.

WibbleAgain - 10 Jun 2021 13:15:10 (#10 of 47)

It certainly wasn't "prevalent" when I was at school, but that was some 60 years ago, and in a different, more repressed culture.

Even then, in the there were one or two over hormoned boys that'd misbehave occasionally, and they got a "reputation". Thinking back, it was when I developed a tough, don't-mess-with-me exterior. Back then it was certainly the thing to blame the victim if you complained: what did you do to encourage them?

I now have a grand daughter and great neices, and I worry about them. Things have gone for the worse in that regard since all the liberation and stuff.

FleurDuMal - 10 Jun 2021 13:17:02 (#11 of 47)

I was at school in the 70s, and this went on all the time. It was considered 'normal' by the teachers then - 'boys will be boys' stuff. In many cases, the girls were blamed for encouraging them.

StephanieSuperpowers - 10 Jun 2021 13:17:53 (#12 of 47)

I have a real problem with the headline which suggests that it's schoolchildren in general. It's not though, it's GIRLS.

I don't understand why there's such a resistance to stating the facts. Boys do this to girls. It's not a random subset of any children doing it to any other random subset of children.

WibbleAgain - 10 Jun 2021 13:18:32 (#13 of 47)

But no body showed you dick pics and such like, Fleur. The easy availability of porn is so poisonous.

WibbleAgain - 10 Jun 2021 13:19:56 (#14 of 47)

I have a real problem with the headline which suggests that it's schoolchildren in general. It's not though, it's GIRLS.

Because up to now all the #MeToo stuff is about work place and street harrassment. Schools are where children are supposed to be protected.

Kucinghitam - 10 Jun 2021 13:29:14 (#15 of 47)

I had the great good fortune to attend a girls' school, so all my sexual harassment experiences were perpetrated by members of the public.

thisonehasalittlehat - 10 Jun 2021 13:31:33 (#16 of 47)

I have a real problem with the headline which suggests that it's schoolchildren in general. It's not though, it's GIRLS.

That's not quite true. The report says, for example, that 50% of boys have also received unsolicited explicit photographs. That's a lower figure that for girls (90% I think from memory) but is still a very high figure.

The guardian glossed these as "dick pics" but I doubt that's actually the case in many instances. Seems unlikely that so many boys are sending each other unsolicited dick pics. Maybe they are.

Post deleted by user
thisonehasalittlehat - 10 Jun 2021 13:35:11 (#18 of 47)

I did some research at the time, and found that in general single sex schools were better for girls, and mixed schools benefited boys more. My son's school had girls in the sixth form and I gathered he liked it very much.

That's still true. If by "better" you mean tending to higher academic performance. Of course that may not be the only factor one considers important.

Crayola - 10 Jun 2021 13:38:55 (#19 of 47)

I think I am a few years older than Catspy. There wasn't constant sexual harassment when I was a school but certainly no one ever reported the sexual assaults and rapes that happened at parties. Because we (the girls) were fairly confident we would be blamed. IIRC there was one girl that did after I left and both him and her were asked to leave the (independent) school and no charges were pressed.

Bodgit - 10 Jun 2021 13:42:43 (#20 of 47)

I think (most) schools are much better now at responding to complaints appropriately but I think they need to do more to overcome the internalised barriers to reporting.

I think a lot of victims “don’t want to make a fuss” and worry about the response of their peer groups, and the very fact that it happens all the time means it’s just accepted as a fact of life.

We need to do more to educate victims that it’s not normal, that this is aberrant behaviour and that it’s always worth making a fuss about. We need to do bystander training, so others feel able to call behaviours out. And we need to not just leave this to the schools.

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