Feeling smug in the Smeg.

Bashing the Bishop in the Bosch!

Banging one out in the Beko.

<subscribes>

Hovering in the Hotpoint

Goosing in the Zanussi

Wanking in the Whirlpool.

Perhaps that should be a hand job in the Hotpoint.

At his ease in the Deep Freeze.

Just bloody stay away from mine, you rat bag!

Having a whisper in the crisper.

I don't even want to think about what that spill in the evaporation tray is...

His tiny thingy is frozen

His recent travails required a fridge the size of Ukraine, this week he needs one the size of India...

Feeling froideur among the fromage frais. Quel dommage.

"I've just been adding the finishing touches to my thick yellow fool, given it a final whipping and then into the fridge to chill."

</Fanny Hadock>

And if you make donuts like these they'll look just like Fanny's - Johnny Hadock

Wonder what Johnson's favourite food is.

Spotted Dick maybe.

Humble pie?

Eton Mess.